December 22nd 2001- From Sydney Australia
**'ADVANCE AUSTRALIA FAIR PLAYS**
[FLASHBACK: THE FLASHBACK OF WEEKS OR ACTION IF SHOWN AS ADVANCE AUSTRALIA FAIR SOUNDS OUT TO M.O.P. 'COLD AS ICE'. THE ACTION OF THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF ACTION. PIMP IN WINNING THE T.F.W.F. HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE AT AUTUMN ANNIHILATION...SHRIEK AND PIMP IN MAKING LOVE...THE MANAGEMENT AND NALDO PLOTTING...MAKER IRRATE...BEAR LOSING THE CEO POSITION...THE RETURN OF THE DAMNED YANKEE...HUGGSY BEAR'S HEEL TURN AND THE GREAT SIX MAN TAG...A EVIL SHOT OF MAKER...THE MANAGEMENT ANNOUNCING THE EVENT...FOUR SEPARATE SHOTS OF THE PARTICIPANTS THE KIDNAPPING OF THE MANAGEMENT AND MAKER'S ANTICS...THE STATEMENT BY BEAR AT THE FANS FAIR HE IS THE CEO! THE CAMERA FADES ONTO A SHOT OF THE AUSTRALASIAN FLAG AS ADVANCE AUSTRALIA FAIR PLAYS AGAIN...]
**'COLD AS ICE' PLAYS**
(THE CROWD IS FOCUSED IN ON AS SCOOP AND SNOOP STAND AT RINGSIDE. SIGNS SHOW 'THE DAMNED AUSSIE', 'THE MANAGEMENT IS BACK...WAIT IN THE OUTBACK' 'PIMP IN DOWN UNDER' 'TRICYCLES ARE MADE OF IRON' AND 'FIDO FOR PRIME MINISTER'. SCOOP AND SNOOP LOOK AT EACH OTHER.)
Scoop: I can hardly hear myself above this crowd, but ladies and gentlemen we are finally here, we are live in Sydney, Australia, we are live at what the T.F.W.F. calls an Olympic event, we are live at Ice Storm 2001. Its on...an ultimate battle for the T.F.W.F. Heavyweight title and Snoop I am so excited when can we get under way.
Snoop: Your excited! How can you be excited the damn CEO of the T.F.W.F. is missing in some outback!
Scoop: That's right if you missed it on T.F.W.F. TV this week the Peacemaker kidnapped The Management and dumped in straight in the middle of nowhere. And if that's not enough, Huggsy Bear announced at our 'fan fair' right in the middle of Pimp In's promo before he was well bitch slapped...he is indeed the temporary CEO of the T.F.W.F. and what does this tell us Snoop, that in fact maybe Peacemaker is holding all the cards.
Snoop: That he might be, but don't count out Naldo he's looking to get a measure of revenge for this attack we have hardly seen Naldo this week and I am sure he will enter in a bang. Then we have Yankee, he's tough and mean and I tell you he has got to be psyched for what will be a damned return to capture the Heavyweight title. Then the champ himself, he's confident and cocky and on recent performances is at his best, it could be two falls it could be five, but it will be an ultimate battle.
Scoop: Kicking things off in this one is a chance to one day maybe fighting this type of match we have hyped a Main Event, its a get your name as fame battle royal a real chance to step up and make a name for yourself in the T.F.W.F., Snoop have you a favorite?
Snoop: No idea, it will be good though...
Battle Royal- Get your name as fame!
Car Thief vs Jamal Williams vs Trey Jackson vs Joey Lupino vs Horror vs Pounds vs Protégé vs Phantasm vs Flint Fireforge vs Chris Pufting vs Old School
Jaycee- Ladies and gentlemen of Australia and around the world welcome to T.F.W.F.'s Ice Storm 2001!
(MASSIVE CROWD POP.)
Jaycee- This is our opening contest of Ice Storm 2001 and is a battle royal...
*MOTHER- BY KORN PLAYS*
Jaycee- Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 586 pounds they are Flint Fireforge and Chris Pufting!
(FLINT WALKS DOWN THE RAMP WEARING A TIE AND SHIRT AND WALKING WITH PERFECT GRACE. PUFTING KISSES A FEW GIRLS WHO MAKE A 'YUCK' SIGN WITH THEIR MOUTHS AS THEY GET IN THE RING. FLINT BOWS GRACIOUS FULLY BEFORE RIPPING OFF HIS TIE AND LICKING THE MAT IN TRUE ANIMAL FORM. PUFTING POINTS AND WINKS AT RANDOM GIRLS.)
Scoop: Two powerhouses here in Flint and Pufting.
Snoop: Where's mother?
Scoop: Good question.
*COLD AS ICE- MOP PLAYS*
Jaycee- Introducing at a total combined weight of 449 pounds they are Michael 'Fame' Pounds and The Protégé...Totally Cold!
(POUNDS DOES THE BLACK POWER SALUTE, KISSES HIS CROSS AND WALKS TO THE RING FOCUSED TO THE BOOS AS PROTÉGÉ LIKE A FAIRY HOPS AROUND HIM.)
Scoop: Michael Pounds really has an attitude problem
Snoop: No he doesn't he just famous man.
Jaycee- Introducing...weighing in at 230 pounds, Old School...and at 210 pounds...Phantasm.
(SCHOOL WALKS DOWN AND BERATES SOME FANS IN HIS HAWAIIAN SHIRT TO SOME LITTLE HEAT. PHANTASM TO A VERY SMALL POP LOWERS HIMSELF INTO THE RING VIA A CABLE.)
Scoop: Two underdogs.
Snoop: I don't even know who the guy on the cable is...
*SIC- SLIPNOT PLAYS*
Jaycee- Weighing in at 505 pounds...Horror!
Scoop: Big man its going to take an army to get rid of him.
Snoop: Or just an unlucky fall.
(HORROR STEPS OVER THE ROPES AND LOOKS MENACING TO SOME DECENT HEAT. HE SLAMS HIS FIST INTO THE GROUND.)
*BULLET IN THE HEAD- BY RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE PLAYS*
(THE CROWD GIVE NO REAL REACTION AS LUPINO COMES OUT AND LOOKS TOUGH STRETCHING OUT.)
Jaycee- weighing in at 240 pounds...Joey Lupino
Scoop: A debut for this young man tonight and what a win it could be for him.
Snoop: Wake me up when your fairy book ending is over...zzz.
*GHETTO LIFE- FROM THE T.F.W.F. ALBUM PLAYS*
(THE CROWD EXPLODE IN CHEERS AS THE COMPTON CREW AND CAR THIEF WALK OUT ONTO THE STAGE AND START STRUTTING TO THE RING.)
Jaycee- And the final participants at a total combined weight of 897 pounds they are the Car Thief and the Compton Crew!
11 men are now brawling. The Compton Crew are hammering away on Chris Pufting.
Car Thief and Flint Fireforge are exchanging blows. Phantasm is desperately
flinging reverse knife edge chops at Horror. Old School has clipped Protege's
knee and has him in a figure four leglock. Pounds is shaking Joey Lupino with
left jabs. Horror is standing impassively while Phantasm is trying to hurt him.
Finally, he's had enough, grabs Phantasm by the throat, and throws him one
handed over the top rope to the floor!
Phantasm is gone!
Nice of him to drop in! Ha ha!
has lowblowed Car Thief, and goes to help Pufting out against the Crew. Old
School is holding the ropes to increase the pressure on Protege's legs. Horror
comes over and stamps on both of them, breaking the hold. Lupino has got the
better of Pounds, and has him backed against the ropes. He backs off, then
charges for a clothesline, but Pounds ducks, and Lupino goes sailing over the
LUPINO is eliminated
Thief has clipped Horror from behind, and is going to work on him with kicks and
stomps. Pufting and the equally huge Trey Jackson are having a test of strength.
Fireforge is choking Jamal Williams in the corner. Pounds comes up behind Car
Thief, and lays him out with a back suplex. As he goes to inflict more damage,
Horror grabs him and gets ready to chokeslam him. Protege gathers himself and
rushes to his master's aid, kicking Horror in the crotch. Old School begins to
work Car Thief over with a spinning toe hold. Whilst Protege is checking on the
condition of Pounds, Horror goes to charge them both for a double clothesline.
However, they both duck, but Horror turns around and catches each of them by the
throat, preparing for a double chokeslam! Before he can execute it, Pounds and
Protege simultaneously kick him in the groin, then double suplex him right out
of the ring!
They got rid of the 500lb monster!
Pounds and Protege are my pick to win!
What, both of them?
Or Old School. Or Pufting.
stands proud, pleased with himself, while Protege applauds him. Meanwhile, Old
School goes for another spinning toe hold on Car Thief. As he spins around,
though, Car Thief uses his free foot to kick Old School on the ass, and send him
flying over the top!
SCHOOL is eliminated
a mixed audience reaction, Kevin the chimp appears from backstage, and shambles
down the ramp. Car Thief, grabbing a breather on the ropes after dismissing Old
School, sees Kevin, and has a puzzled look on his face. Kevin reaches the area
surrounding the ring, pulls his lips back to grin at Car Thief, then turns
around, points his ass at Car Thief and slaps it with both apey hands. Car Thief
stands there slack-jawed, then shakes his head and turns around, only to walk
into a Fireforge clothesline that sends him over the top rope!
THIEF is eliminated
jumps up and down and laughs at Car Thief, then runs over and jumps up and down
on his back. He then gallops back up the ramp before Car Thief can recover, and
is scooped up into the arms of X, who has just appeared. Car Thief looks up at
them both in anger, as X and Kevin laugh at him, then disappear backstage.
X trained that damn monkey to get Car
Firstly, Kevin's an ape, not a monkey. And
secondly, X probably remembers what the Car Thief did to him in the big brother
Whatever. We're now down to the three duos
- Flint and Pufting, Pounds and Protege, and the Compton Crew.
match has now broken off into two separate tussles. Protege, Pufting and
Williams brawling in one corner, Pounds, Fireforge and Jackson in the other.
Pounds goes to kick Fireforge in the stomach, Fireforge catches it, but Pounds
lays him out with an enziguiri. Jackson nails Pounds with a clubbing blow from
behind. Meanwhile, Pufting has thrown Protege into the corner, when Williams
jumps on his back. Pufting throws him over his shoulder, then picks Williams up
and gorilla presses him over his head. He goes to throw Williams over the ropes,
but he manages to wriggle down a bit and grab the ropes on the outside. As
Pufting tries to force Williams off the apron, Protege comes up behind him and
surprises him, lifting Pufting legs first over the top rope!
PUFTING is eliminated
Protege grabs his breath, Pounds has overpowered Jackson with kicks and chops.
He launches himself at Jackson for a flying cross body, but Jackson catches him
and executes a huge bodyslam! Jamal Williams climbs the turnbuckle and hits
Pounds with a top rope splash, to complete the Smash and Grab! Pounds is out
cold! While Williams and Jackson celebrate with the crowd, Fireforge creeps up
behind Williams and hits the Demon Drop, sending Williams backwards over the top
rope and landing in a crumpled heap on the arena floor, to a big 'Holy shit!'
chant from the crowd!
WILLIAMS is eliminated
We're down to 4 men! Who's it gonna be?
Taxi for Mr Williams! Ha ha ha !
runs at Jackson, but is met with a big boot. Protege jumps on Jackson's back and
rabbit punches him in the side of the head. Jackson runs backwards, and
sandwiches Protege between himself and the corner post, forcing him to let go.
Fireforge charges at Jackson, but Trey dodges, and Fireforge ends up splashing
Protege in the corner. Pounds is still on the floor in the other corner. Jackson
picks Fireforge up to bodyslam him, but Fireforge scoots out the back door, then
grabs Jackson around the waist from behind, in order to hit another Demon Drop.
However, Jackson swings an elbow backwards and nails Fireforge in the head.
Protege climbs the turnbuckle, and flies off in a huruncanrana attempt on
Jackson, but Jackson turns it into a powerbomb, crushing Protege. Pounds can see
what is going on, and seems to be feigning unconsciousness. Fireforge is
pounding on Jackson with right hands, he then sends Jackson to the ropes, he
swings at Jackson on the rebound, Jackson ducks, hits the ropes again, then
flies back and nails Fireforge with a huge shoulder block! He then picks
Fireforge up, and presses him over his head, inching closer to the ropes. As
Jackson reaches the ropes, with Fireforge over his head, Protege gets up and
hits Jackson in the back of the head with a dropkick, sending both Jackson and
Fireforge crashing to the arena floor!
FIREFORGE and TREY JACKSON are eliminated
Oh my God! Protege has eliminated almost
half his opponents by his self!
No doubt, he IS the rising star of
is celebrating, and some of the crowd are actually applauding his effort.
Michael Pounds cautiously gets up, and as Protege turns around, nails him with a
viscious superkick, which sends Protege flying over the top rope!
crowd boo heavily at Pounds' treacherous and cowardly action. At ringside,
Protege is furious. Then he sees Pounds glaring at him, and starts clapping
Pounds. Pounds bows his head and raises his fist in the air, as Protege climbs
in the ring, and begins to fawn over him.
Winner via by process of elimination: MICHAEL POUNDS
Scoop: Look at Protégé this is pathetic as that glory hog Michael Pounds celebrates in front of his very eyes.
Snoop: Gotta love that Pounds...he's famous you know.
Scoop: Please...lets' go backstage now as Sniff is standing with the man of the moment, the Peacemaker.
ACTION SHIFTS BACKSTAGE, WHERE SNIFF IS STOOD OUTSIDE PEACEMAKER'S DRESSING
ROOM. HE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR. AFTER A WHILE, THE DOOR OPENS A CRACK, AND HUGGSY
BEAR STICKS HIS HEAD OUT)
I was hoping to interview the Peacemaker.
Well, you can't. you can interview the CEO
of the T.F.W.F.
You mean the Management's in there?
I mean ME, idiot, the acting CEO!
STEPS OUT INTO THE CORRIDOR AND SHUTS THE DOOR BEHIND HIM)
Well, Huggsy Bear, you must be very
pleased with yourself, with the Management being incapacitated...
Sniff, my heart BLEEDS for old fatso. Our plan worked brilliantly. Peacemaker
left the Management stranded, leaving Huggsy and the Hardcore Haven in control
of the T.F.W.F!
LOOKS ANNOYED AT SNIFF)
Temporary maybe, but long enough. You see,
I'll be in power tonight, the night of Ice Storm 2001, where the plan while bear
full fruition. Because, walking into the Ultimate Battle, Peacemaker will have
one big advantage: The CEO of the T.F.W.F
in his corner!
LOOKS ANNOYED AT SNIFF AGAIN)
The Peacemaker will have the ACTING CEO in
his corner, and Huggsy Bear ALWAYS has a trick up his sleeve! Now leave me
alone, I've got evil plots to hatch!
RETURNS TO THE DRESSING ROOM)
SNIFF: A very confident ACTING CEO backstage here in the Sydney Arena! What devious plan have Huggsy Bear and the Peacemaker prepared for the Ultimate Battle?
(BACK TO RINGSIDE.)
Scoop: I thought he was going to interview Peacemaker not that dork.
Snoop: You can't call our beloved CEO a dork!
Scoop: So if he's your beloved CEO what's the Management?
Snoop: Ummmm.... I don't know (sob)
T.F.W.F. Womens title-
Shriek (c) vs Tracy
Scoop: Well we have started with a bang and ladies and gentlemen to women who know how to make fireworks happen they have met many times before, but you never get tired of Shriek vs. Tracy with gold on the line.
[HIGHLIGHTS: OF THE WARS BETWEEN THE TWO WOMEN ARE SHOWN OVER THE PAST YEAR.]
Jaycee- This match is scheduled for one fall and is for the T.F.W.F. Womens Championship.
*LADY- BY MOJO PLAYS*
(A PURPLE HAZE STARTS TO EMINATE FROM BENEATH THE RING AND RAMP. PURPLE SMOKE APPEARS ON THE STAGE, AS "LADY" FROM MOJO BLARES THROUGH THE SPEAKERS. SHRIEK STEPS OUT FROM THE BACK, WALKING SEDUCTIVELY TO THE TOP OF THE RAMP. SHE POSES, ARCHING HER BACK, AND RAISING HER ARMS ABOVE HER HEAD. SHE ENDS THE POSE WITH A DEVILISH SMILE, AND WALKS TO THE RING. SHE MAKES IT TO THE APRON, AND BENDS HER WAY IN, ADDING EXTRA VIEW OF HER POSTERIOR CURVES)
Jaycee- Introducing first from Beverley Hills, California, weighing in at 139 pounds, she is the T.F.W.F. Womens Champion...SHRIEK!!!
Scoop: And there she is without Maker I might add she is the reigning champion and is tonight facing her arch nemesis Tracy, its Shriek.
Snoop: Pass me some toilet paper!
*THE DAMNED- BY PLASMASTICS PLAYS*
(TRACY WALKS ONTO THE RAMP AND SMILES HER GAP IN HER TEETH VISIBLE TO A ROARING CROWD SHE WALKS DOWN THE RAMP AND STANDS ON THE OUTSIDE SURVEYING THE ACTION.)
Jaycee- and her opponent from London, England weighing in at 146 pounds...The Damned Lady...TRACY!!!
This should be an intense match. Has there
ever been a rivalry in the women's division as heated as Shriek and Tracy's?
Yeah, well tonight it ends. Shriek is
gonna show that interfering *bleep* who's the boss, once and for all!
Can't you be a gentleman?
tries to roll into the ring, and is met immediately with kicks to the back from
Shriek. She finally picks Tracy up, and whips her to the ropes, but Tracy comes
back with a flying forearm, knocking Shriek off her feet. Shriek rolls out of
the ring to regroup, while the crowd cheer Tracy rapturously. Shriek tries to
get back in the ring, but Tracy is hovering, so Shriek shouts at the ref to get
her away. The referee instructs Tracy to stand clear, so Shriek re-enters the
ring, and punches Tracy in the side of the head while the ref has his back to
her. Shriek then lays in with sidekicks to the midsection, followed by some
reverse knife edges. She then grabs Tracy by the hair and biels her into the
middle of the ring. With Tracy sat groggy in the middle of the ring, Shriek
launches herself for a beautiful rolling neck snap. She goes for the
cover..1..2..Tracy raises her shoulder! She then stomps on Tracy's arm, then
goes for an arm scissors. The ref asks Tracy if she's ready to give up, but with
the crowd behind her, she... slowly... makes... her...way...to... the... ropes.
The ref calls for Shriek to break the hold. She pulls Tracy back into the middle
and kicks her again.
Ha ha ha! Shriek is totally kicking ass!
It's early days yet, but Tracy does look
pulls Tracy to her feet, then whips her into the cornerpost. Shriek then moves
to the other corner, and launches herself at Tracy with a handspring elbow...
but Tracy dodges at the last second, leaving Shriek to crash into the ringpost!
Tracy is revitalised, and Shriek walks into an armdrag. She gets up, walks into
another armdrag. Gets up again, Tracy hits her with a picture perfect dropkick!
The crowd are going wild! Tracy pulls Shriek to her feet, whips her to the
ropes, and catches her with a tilt-a-whirl slam! She makes the
cover..1..2..Shriek kicks out! The crowd go 'oohh!'. She goes to pick Shriek up,
but Shriek grabs her tights and sends her shoulder first into the ring post.
Shriek then grabs Tracy from behind, and hits a back suplex. She bounces off the
ropes and drops a knee on Tracy's head. She goes for a cover..1..2...Tracy kicks
out. Shriek pulls Tracy up by her hair, goes to whip Tracy to the ropes, but
Tracy reverses it, sends Shriek to the ropes, and on her return, Tracy uses
Shrieks momentum to send her flying over the top rope to the hard concrete
floor! Shriek is lying in a daze at ringside. As Shriek hobbles to her feet,
Tracy climbs the turnbuckle, and flies off to catch Shriek in an amazing top
rope-to-floor flying hurancanrana! Shriek goes crashing into the guardrail!
Jesus H. Christ! I think she's killed
Shriek! She can't do that! Perhaps I better attend to her, administer mouth to
mouth resuscitation, that kind of thing...
You stay right where you are, you pervert!
is slow to get to her feet, from the amazing move she's just executed.
Eventually, she reaches Shriek and smashes her head against the guard rail. The
ref is shouting in vain for them to return to the ring. Tracy then picks Shriek
up, and bodyslams her onto the arena floor. She picks Shriek up again, and goes
to whip her into the ring steps, but Shriek reverses it, and Tracy tastes steel.
Shriek follows up with some kicks to Tracy's head as she kneels on the floor.
She then picks Tracy up, and rams her back into the ring post. Finally, as the
ref is going to count them out, she rolls Tracy into the ring. Shriek climbs
back in, and waits patiently for Tracy to get up. When Tracy does finally rise,
Shriek goes for the Bitch Kick...but Tracy ducks, and the ref gets kicked! The
referee goes down, while Shriek grabs Tracy and hits a T-bone suplex. Shriek
then climbs the turnbuckle, and goes for a frog splash...but Tracy once again
rolls out of the way! Shriek rolls around the ring in pain, while Tracy waits
for her to rise, then kicks Shriek in the stomach, and hits the Rocking Horror!
She covers Shriek for a good ten seconds, but there's no ref to make the count!
Eventually, she get off Shriek and tries to revive the ref. Shriek rolls out of
the ring, and grabs a steel chair, much to the crowd's consternation. She then
rolls back into the ring, with Tracy still trying to wake the ref up. Shriek
crouches in the opposite corner with her back to Tracy, to conceal the chair.
Finally, the ref starts to stir, so Tracy gets up and makes her way over to
Shriek. Shriek rises, turns around, and throws the steel chair at Tracy! Tracy
instinctively catches it, and Shriek Bitch Kicks it into Tracy's face! She
throws the chair out of the ring and covers Tracy, just as the ref crawls
over..1..2..3! The crowd are beside themselves in disgust.
That's not fair! Shriek used a steel
chair! She should have been disqualified!
Hey, if the referee didn't see it, it
Winner by pinfall, and STILL Women's champion: SHRIEK
Scoop: Well Shriek celebrates over a dejected Tracy, but we here that a limo has arrived in the arena! Could Jimmy Simpson have found the Management?
Snoop: You know Sherlock Holmes had a partner...it was Dr. Simpson remember that phrase 'elementary my dear Simpson'.
Scoop: It was WATSON!
Snoop: Whatever I only read Pokemon cards.
ACTION SWITCHES TO OUTSIDE, AT THE ARENA ENTRANCE. BEHIND A CORDONED-OFF ARENA
ARE SEVERAL HUNDRED SCREAMING FANS, WHO COULDN'T GET TICKETS AND ARE WAITING
ANXIOUSLY TO TRY AND GET A GLIMPSE OF THEIR WRESTLING HEROES. ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE CORDON, STOOD BY THE ENTRANCE ARE A DOORMAN, AND J3, MR. SHOWTIME'S
BUDDY. J3 IS TALKING TO THE DOORMAN)
Sorry, man, but Showtime's instructions
were very specific. When his limo turns up, he wants me to open the door for
him, not somebody he doesn't know. You know these Hollywood types, they're kind
of flaky. I don't like it any more than you do, I'm no doorman, but Showtime's
LIMOUSINE WITH DARKENED WINDOWS PULLS UP TO THE FRONT OF THE ARENA)
That'll be him now.
OPENS THE LIMO DOOR, AND OUT TROTS FIDO, WEARING AN EXPENSIVE PAIR OF SHADES AND
A KANGOL HAT. THE FANS WAITING OUTSIDE GO MENTAL AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF THEIR
What the f... Opening doors for a goat?
That's it, come here, you hairy little bastard! J3's gonna skin ya!
GOES TO GRAB FIDO AROUND THE NECK. ANOTHER LIMO PULLS UP, AND SHOWTIME AND CREME
STEP OUT. THEY WALK UP TO J3 AND FIDO)
What's going on, J3?
J3 TURNS AROUND, FORCES A SMILE, AND PATS FIDO'S HEAD)
Nothing, man, we just playing...
Well stop messing around, my public are
(SHOWTIME, CRÈME AND FIDO STRIDE OFF INTO THE BUILDING, LEAVING J3 SCOWLING THROUGH GRITTED TEETH)
(BACK TO RINGSIDE.)
Scoop: Man J3 really hates people hanging out with Showtime remeber when Crème and him became a Tag Team?
Snoop: Yes, J3 opened the move with his slick negotiation skills.
Scoop: Ok whatever...but tell me why does Fido have such a fan base?
Snoop: Did you not see Millionaire this week! Fido totally won Show a million dollars! He's the smartest goat in the world even smarter than Skippy.
Scoop: Skippy was a kangaroo.
Snoop: No he was a goat.
Scoop: Please help me Lord.
Nice lead it to Samson defending his Hardcore title against a gauntlet of
Haven boys can I hear you say SKIPPY THE GOAT!
T.F.W.F. Hardcore title- Gauntlet Hardcore match
Samson (c) vs X vs Ultimate Scally vs Hardcore Legend
Jaycee- This match is a gauntlet match and is for...the T.F.W.F. Hardcore Championship...randomly drawn for this match were the three challengers, whoever wins the match will advance to the next round to face the next challenger and so on till only the sole winner survives.
*THE COMMANDMENT- FROM THE T.F.W.F. ALBUM PLAYS*
(THE ARENA GOES DARK. IT IS THEN LIT BY LIGHTS OF THE LIGHTERS AIDED BY THE FANS...A SPOTLIGHT FOCUSES ON SAMSON KNEELING IN PRAYER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAMP ENTRANCE.)
Jaycee- Making his way towards the ring from Athens, Greece weighing in at 570 pounds, he is the T.F.W.F. Hardcore Champion...SAMSON!
*SMOOTH CRIMINAL- BY ALIEN ANT FARM PLAYS*
(THE ARENA DIMS, AND SUDDENLY WE HEAR THE ECHO OF ALIEN ANT FARMS' SMOOTH CRIMINAL: "YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY, A SMOOTH CRIMINAL" AND BOOM, A RAGE OF TOWERING GREEN FLAMES SHAPED LIKE AN X BURST ON STAGE. AS THEY BURN, X STEPS THROUGH THEM, WITH HIS CELTIC CROSS DANGLING UPON HIS CHEST. HE SMILES AS HE MAKES HIS WAY DOWN THE RAMP. HE STANDS ON THE APRON, AND VAULTS OVER THE TOP ROPE)
Jaycee- Accompanied by his monkey Kevin the Chimp from parts unknown, weighing in at 264 pounds the first challenger...X!
rushes at Samson with a with a steel chair in his hand, and nails Samson in the
face. Samson totters a bit, turns round, and X hits him with the steel chair in
the front of the head. And again. And again. Samson looks like he's about to go
over, but just stays on his feet. X backs off a bit, takes a run up, and charges
with the chair raised. At the last moment, Samson raises his foot, resulting in
a chair assisted boot to X's face. He goes down, and Samson picks him up, and
rolls him into the ring. Samson reaches under the ring, and throws out a few
hardcore weapons. He climbs in, picks up a dustbin lid, but X gets up, and hits
a superkick, smashing the lid into Samson's face. X picks the lid up and hits
Samson a few times with it, and this time, Samson does go down. X places the bin
lid across Samson's face, climbs the turnbuckle, and flies off for a nasty top
rope legdrop onto the lid. He covers Samson...1..2..Samson raises a shoulder!
That's it X, stay on him, don't let him
Coaching tips as well now, is it?
Hey, I can do it all, baby!
grabs a dustbin, and as Samson sits up, he pushes it down over Samson's head. X
then grabs a baseball bat, and hits the bin with it. He covers
Samson..1..2..Samson kicks out! The ref tells X to back off, while Samson gets
the bin off his head. X raises the baseball bat above his head, and charges at
Samson, but Samson grabs the bin, and swings it into X's midsection. He then
throws X over the top rope, to the arena floor. Samson joins him at ringside,
where he rams X's head into the guard rail, then whips him into the ring steps.
He goes for the cover..1..2..X kicks out! He picks X up, and hits a DDT on the
hard floor, goes for the pin..1..2...X lifts a shoulder! Samson picks X up, and
whips him into the ring post, but X reverses it, sending Samson to the post. As
Samson staggers back towards him, X grabs a TV moniter from Scoop and Snoop's
table, and smacks it across Samson's skull! Instead of going for the pin, X
climbs the turnbuckle, waits for Samson to get to his feet, then flies from the
top rope down to Samson on the arena floor, and brings the moniter down on
Samson's head in mid air!
That's gotta be it! Pin him! Pin him!
Hang on, Car Thief's running down to
makes the cover..1..2..Car Thief stomps him in the back. He then picks X up, and
hits the Car Jack onto the concrete floor! X is out. Thief trash talks him,
salutes the audience, then strolls back up the ramp. Samson slowly gets to his
feet, picks X up, and hits a Samson Bomb! He covers X..1..2..3! X is out! As
Samson catches his breath, his next opponent, Hardcore Legend, runs down to
ringside with a Singapore cane in his hand, and Hardcore Hugh Destroyer waddling
down behind him, offering advice. He comes up behind Samson, places the cane
around Samson's neck, and Russian leg sweeps him to the floor. Goes for the
cover..1..2..Samson kicks out! Legend waits for Samson to get up, then charges
him with the cane, but Samson ducks, and back body drops Legend into the crowd!
He then grabs Hugh, and throws him onto Legend, landing on him in the '69'
position, much to the crowd's amusement. Samson climbs over the guard rail, and
begins laying in punches to Legend, without much resistance. He picks Legend up,
and hits a huge stalling suplex, makes the cover..1..2..Hugh breaks up the
count. Samson turns round to confront him, Hugh backs off, and Legend jumps on
Samson's back. Samson just grabs Legend, and throws him over his shoulder to the
floor. He picks Legend up, and gorilla presses him, before throwing him over the
guard rail, back to ringside. At ringside, Samson bear hugs Legend, ramming him
into the ringpost at the same time. He goes for the cover..1..2..Legend just
gets his shoulder up! Samson goes under the ring, pulls out a 'Stop!' sign,
smashes it over Legend's head. Legend wobbles around like a drunk at closing
time. Samson raises the Stop sign again, Hardcore Hugh tries to stop him, so
Hugh gets twatted, and goes down. Samson drops the sign, clubs Legend across the
back with forearms, and drags him round to the commentator's table. He throws
Legend across the table, causing Scoop and Snoop to run for cover.
This could be bad for Hardcore Legend!
What I want to know is...would Samson like
it if I went round HIS house and smashed up all HIS furniture?
Legend lying face down on the table, Samson climbs up on there, raises Legend to
his feet, and puts him in position for a Samson Bomb, to a great roar of
anticipation from the crowd. Just as he goes for lift-off position, Hardcore
Hugh holds on to Legends legs, preventing Samson from completing his finisher.
With the last drop of strength left in his body,and despite Samson's size,
Legend manages to back drop Samson onto the table, which promptly gives way,
leaving wreckage, and at the bottom of it, Legend slumped on top of Samson. The
ref counts..1..2..3! Samson has lost the title! No-one can believe Legend has
pulled it off!
Samson has thrown Legend around like a rag
doll for the last ten minutes, but somehow, Legend got the pin!
Well, you see, the Haven always has a
Plan?? That was pure luck!
sooner has the ref counted three, than the Ultimate Scally emerges, and begins
walking down the ramp with a bucket of piss and a bucket of shit in his hands.
Legend has just begun to crawl off Samson, and Hardcore Hugh is clapping and
jumping round in excitement. Legend is on his hands and knees, when Scally
deposits the contents of his buckets over Legend, then places one of the buckets
over Legend's head, and starts smacking it with a broom stick. Hardcore Hugh is
shouting, trying to motivate Legend, until a large hand clamps around his
throat! It's Samson, and he's pissed at Hugh. He lifts Hugh up by the throat,
then chucks him over ten rows of audience, when the fans move out of the way,
and he hits the floor. Samson climbs over the guard rail, and Hugh does a runner
to the back, with Samson in pursuit.Back at ringside, Legend is on his feet,
with the bucket over his head. Scally charges at him, but Legend ducks, butting
the bucket into Scally's ribs, leaving them both reeling. Legend finally manages
to get the bucket off his head, and rolls into the relative safety of the ring.
Scally soon follows, but Legend stomps on him as he slides under the rope.
Legend then raises Scally up, hits a few reverse knife edges, then whips Scally
to the ropes. Legend picks up the bin lid, and smashes it across Scally's face
as he comes off the ropes. Legend makes the cover..1..2..Scally kicks out.
Scally is bleeding from the mouth. Legend picks Scally up, and body slams him
onto the dustbin. He then quickly leaves the ring, gets the broomstick, and
returns to the ring, where he brings the stick down over Scally's mid section.
He goes to ram the end of the stick into Scally's throat, but Scally blocks it
with his hands, and instead rams the other end of the broom into Legend's face.
Legend staggers back, and Scally hurls himself at Legend, causing both men to go
careering over the top rope. On the arena floor, Scally crawls over to Legend
and covers him..1..2..Legend kicks out! Both men get to their feet, Scally grabs
the TV monitor cable, and wraps it round Legend's throat. Legend is flailing,
gasping for air, until he mule kicks Scally in the crotch .
You'd never guess these guys are in the
same stable from the ferocity of this match up!
Oh well, whoever wins, Haven gets the
rolls Scally back into the ring. In the ring, Legend pulls Scally's arm between
his legs, and hits a pump handle slam. Legend gets a steel chair, places it in
the centre of the ring, grabs Scally, and signals for the Ultima Manus! However,
Scally breaks free, and spits his blood in Legend's eyes! He goes for the DDT to
complete the Scally Spit, but Legend ducks behind him. He grabs Scally from
behind, goes to whip him to the ropes, but Scally reverses it, whips Legend to
the ropes, but telegraphs a back body drop attempt, at which point, Legend
stops, and hits the Ultima Manus on the steel chair! He makes the
cover..1..2..3! He's done it!
via pinfall, and NEW Hardcore champion: HARDCORE LEGEND
is beside himself, he looks overcome with emotion. Scally eventually gets to his
feet, and the two engage in a tense staredown. X comes hobbling down to ringside
and crawls in the ring to try and diffuse the situation...but he doesn't need
to, because Scally and Legend finally reach out and shake hands. X gets in
between them, and raises both their hands, in Haven victory!
What a fantastic show of unity from the
Yeah, very cosy, I'm sure...
Scally picks up the steel chair he was pinned on, and slams it into the backs of
Legend and X! Michael Pounds and Protégé run down to the ring, and start
stomping and kicking X and Legend. Scally joins in, then pins Legend. Pounds
orders the ref to make the count..1..2..3!
Hardcore champion, via 24/7 rule: ULTIMATE SCALLY
stands up, and rips his tattered old t-shirt off, to reveal an 'Exclusion'
t-shirt! He celebrates with Pounds and Protégé, grabs the Hardcore belt, then
the three of them leave together, with Legend and X lying in the ring!
Oh my God, Scally has turned his back on
the Haven, and won back the Hardcore title at the same time!
I guess Scally has realised that he just
Exclusion have just got stronger!
(T.F.W.F. GOES TO COMMERCIALS INCLUDING ADVERTISING FIDO'S NEW MOVIE 'THE LITTLE GOAT THAT COULD' FEATURING A CAMEO FROM THE MAIN ATTRACTIONS.)
ACTION SWITCHES BACKSTAGE, WHERE SNIFF IS WAITING. THE ULTIMATE SCALLY ENTERS,
FRESH FROM HIS HARDCORE TITLE MATCH. SNIFF STOPS HIM)
Ultimate Scally, what exactly just
happened out there?
I'll tell you what happened, The Ultimate
Scally just severed all his ties with the Hardcore Haven, that's what happened!
And you've joined Exclusion?
That's right. You see, Exclusion ain't PC.
They don't care if you're white, black, blue, yellow, a millionnaire playboy, or
just a low down, dirty Scally. The thing is, coming from the worst slums of
Northern England, being a SCALLY FOR LIFE, I could never feel at home, never
feel comfortable in the high tech surroundings of the Hardcore Haven. I was
never treated as an equal. Chad and Twist know what I'm talking about, they've
felt it too. If they've got any sense, they'll join me. They realise they don't
belong there, either.
And is there any one event that caused you
to abandon the Haven tonight?
Yes, that damned Big Brother house, and
having to live in it with those prima donnas X and Hardcore Legend, and their
pathetic frat boy practical jokes. If there's one thing I hate, its rich kids
playing tricks on others less privileged. Well, the jokes on you now, idiots,
cos the Ultimate Scally's walked away with the Hardcore belt. Now, if you'll
excuse me, there's a lot of people after me...
LEAVES, IN A HURRY)
Scoop: Well we are back and if you just joined us you are insane because you have missed a hell of an opening card and yes The Ultimate Scally has turned his back on the Haven...is this a sign for Maker is the Haven falling apart, well I am sure our next match might answer that Twist has angered The rapper Tha Method in recent weeks and now they meet for the Light-Heavyweight title. Let's go to Jaycee Hall.
T.F.W.F. Light-Heavyweight title
Twist (c) vs Tha Method
*TWIST- BY KORN PLAYS*
(HUGE PYROS GO OFF, AND WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARS, TWIST IS STOOD WITH HIS BACK TO THE CROWD, FLIPPING THEM THE DOUBLE BIRD BEHIND HIS BACK. HE SPINS ROUND AND MAKES HIS WAY TO THE RING)
Jaycee- This match is scheduled for one fall and is for the T.F.W.F. Light-Heavyweight Championship...currently in the ring from Seattle, Washington weighing 205 pounds he is the T.F.W.F. Light-Heavyweight Champion...TWIST!
*UGLY- BY BUBBA SPARK PLAYS*
(THA METHOD WALKS OUT WEARING A DU RAG AND A BLUE FUBU SHIRT HE IS DOING HIS RHYMES ABOUT TWIST ENRAGING THE CROSS-DRESSING CRUISER WEIGHT SENSATION CARRYING A BAT AND SWINGING IT IN HIS RIGHT HAND HE RAPS INTO THE MIC IN HIS LEFT.)
Jaycee- And his opponent from Brooklyn, New York weighing in at 212 pounds the challenger...THA METHOD!
Scoop: Listen to this crowd as Meth does his thing. Wait Twist from behind and with a lowblow!
Twist pounds rights and lefts into the back of Method who is stunned by the cowardly onslaught, Twist whips Meth into the ropes and tries to nail him with a clothesline, but Meth ducks the move and fires back with a spinning heel kick to the face of Twist to huge applause from the T.F.W.F. crowd. Meth gets to his feet and tosses his du rag in Twist's face, Twist thinking its some sort of weapon grabs it and pulls it away and looks to slam it across Meth's face, the crowd laugh at Twist who then gets a Meth right hand and sent into the ropes followed by a drop kick sending him to the outside. Twsit is dizzy as he gets up and Meth takes advantage scoring an impressive vault onto the champion followed by a few right hands to a huge crowd pop. Twist is thrown back in the ring and Meth follows him in, scoring a spring board drop kick off the ropes. Twist is all over the place as he gets up dazed he swings a wild right hand misses and collapses to a huge roar from the crowd. Meth gets on the turnbuckles and celebrates this to a huge roar from the crowd.
Scoop: Meth has come to Ice Storm 2001 to win this one.
Snoop: Bah! Need I remind you of the skills of Twist!
Scoop: On this early performance I think even Twist needs reminding.
Method climbs the top turnbuckle seeing a fallen Twist and goes for a moon sault, but Twist quickly moves out of the way and Meth lands hard on his stomach. Twist still a little groggy pulls himself to his feet via the ropes and starts stamping on Meht's head he looks out at the crowd who boo him and goes for another stomp, but Meth grabs his leg from underneath him and sweeps the other out in a flash he has Twist locked in a figure four leg lock! Twist writhes in agony on the mat as Meth locks it in harder, Twist eventually pulls himself over turning the move into a deathlock and applying the pressure onto Method. Meth grabs the ropes and relieves the pain, but Twist refuses to release the hold eventually the ref has to be physical and break the hold as the crowd boo Twist. Twist pulls Meth to his feet and nails him with a double axe handle to soften him up before executing a great nothern lights suplex pin for a two count, Twist gets to his feet and takes Method down with a ddt to the canvass. Twist pulls Meth up again and scores a snap suplex into a pin and another two count. Twist pulls Meth to his feet and tosses him into the ropes scoring a throw off the rebound sending Meth spinning under the ropes and out of the ring. Meth hits the floor hard as Twist berates the crowd and takes a position on the top rope for a double axe handle, but Meth moves out of the way and scores a vital uppercut to a huge pop, Meth whips Twist hard into the steel steps sending the cruiserweight crashing over.
Scoop: Twist is in trouble again.
Snoop: Never count out the Twister!
Scoop: I won't I am not the ref.
Snoop: That was the worst joke ever!
Meth picks up Twist and throws him into the ring sending him hard into the ropes, but Twist ducks the clothesline and counters with a quick attempted crescent kick, Meth ducks that and scores a forearm to Twist's face and tries to send him into the rope again, but Twist reverses it and ducks for the rebound, Meth stops and scores a xfactor pin attempt for a two count. Meth gets to his feet and suplexes Twist out of his socks. He goes for a cover, but Twist blocks the attempt with a shot to the throat and a ddt. Twist gets to his feet and leaps onto the top rope looking to score a monnsault, he flies off and hits it, but the momentum takes Meth into a pinning combination on Twist he gets a close two almost three. Meth gets to his feet and quickly takes Twist down with a armdrag takedown into a wrist lock. Twist somehow musters the strength to flip out and reverse the wrist lock into his own wristlock dropping a leg onto the bicep of Method and attaching a fujiarama armbar. Meth writhes in agony as Twist tightens the hold and locks it in hard, Meth however gets a free arm to the ropes and breaks the hold. Twist grabs him and goes for a german suplex, but Meth flips out and scores a wicked kick to the face of Twist, Twist staggers back as Meth takes him down with a clothesline. Meth looks at the cheering crowd and signals for the 'street dreams' slamming his fist into his leg. He picks up Twist and slams him into the canvass hard, he gets on the top rope and goes to execute the move.
Scoop: Meth is lining this one up...wait! Here comes Michael Pounds!
Snoop: It's fame himself!
Scoop: Pounds what business does he have here...Protégé has the referee distracted, Pounds with....ahhhh...A STEEL CHAIR TO THE BACK OF THA METHOD. COME ON!!!!
Pounds gets in the ring as Protégé keeps the referee distracted on the outside, he grabs Twist and looks to place him onto Meth, but then he scores a piledriver onto the chair! Pounds exits the ring and smiles he and Protégé point to the shirt Pounds is wearing simply saying 'FAME'. Meth and Twist are motionless as the ref administers the count on them...it gets to five and Meth gets to his feet and picks Twist up he goes for a right hand and Twist blocks it and scores a right hand of his own to Meth he jumps on the top turnbuckle and goes for the 'titty twister' but Meth throws him off! Twist hits the floor hard to a massive pop he leaps from the top rope with a version of the 'street dreams' leg drop, he covers Twist as the crowd chant one...two...three!
Scoop: Meth has done it! Meth has done it!
Snoop: Twist! No he's still my hero!
Scoop: Your hero needs some attention Meth took the pain barrier to a new level tonight as both men were taken out by that asshole Michael Pounds what is his problem.
Snoop: Your just famous enough to understand Michael 'Fame' Pounds.
Scoop: I am sure I am famous enough to say the T.F.W.F. has a brand new Light-Heavyweight Champion and his name is Tha Method.
Meth celebrates in the ring holding up the T.F.W.F. Light-Heavyweight Championship he looks at the fallen Twist and utters a smile...the Totally Action Torn says the phrase 'FAME' as Meth looks at it with scorn seeing his possible next challenge.
Winner via pinfall and NEW T.F.W.F. Light-Heavyweight Champion: Tha Method
ACTION SWITCHES TO PEACEMAKER'S DRESSING ROOM. HUGGSY HAS LEFT, LEAVING
PEACEMAKER ON HIS OWN. HE IS STOOD WITH HIS BACK TO THE CAMERA, AND HIS HANDS
FOLDED BEHIND HIM. SHRIEK ENTERS THE ROOM, AND CAN IMMEDIATELY SENSE TENSION)
What's wrong Lucas?
TURNS TO FACE HER)
The centre cannot hold. Things are falling
apart. Scally has abandoned us to join the Exclusion. I constantly hear rumours
of discontent emanating
from Chad and Twist. Am I not a fair and just leader? Do I
deserve these ingrates?
WALKS CLOSER, AND PUTS A HAND ON HIS ARM)
Relax. You've got one of the biggest
matches of your life tonight. You shouldn't be worrying about those petty fools.
C'mon, lets warm up for your match.
You're right, of course. Must focus.
TURN THEIR BACKS TO EACH OTHER. MAKER DROPS TO THE FLOOR AND STARTS TO DO SINGLE
FINGERED PRESS UPS, WHILE SHRIEK BEGINS TO UNDRESS. SHORTLY, MAKER TURNS HIS
HEAD AND NOTICES WHAT SHRIEK IS DOING. SHRIEK TURNS ROUND AND SEES MAKER WORKING
OUT. MAKER JUMPS TO HIS FEET)
What are you doing????
Tonight, I have possibly the single most
important match of my entire life.... and you want to have sex?
That's how Pimp In and I used to warm up
for a match while I was 'with' him!
Pimp In! Pimp In! I'm sick and tired of
hearing about Pimp In!
I'm sorry, but when you've had a Magnum
inside you, IT'S A LITTLE HARD TO FORGET!!!
SPINS ROUND, AND STORMS OUT OF THE ROOM, SLAMMING THE DOOR BEHIND HER. MAKER
STANDS PERFECTLY STILL FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS, THEN, WITHOUT WARNING, FLIES
INTO A TERRIBLE AND VIOLENT RAGE. HE THROWS FURNITURE AROUND, AND SMASHES THE
MIRROR ON THE WALL. FINALLY, WITH BOTH FISTS BLEEDING FROM THE FEROCITY OF HIS
OUTBURST, THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON HIS FACE, LOOKING INTENSELY INYO THE BROKEN
MAKER: Damn you, Pimp In. DAMN YOU!!!!!!
(BACK TO SCOOP AND SNOOP.)
Scoop: Sounds like Maker is firing blanks to me Snoop.
Snoop: Cheap joke Scoop, but to be serious he has a problem.
Scoop: We can see that how did he turn down Shriek!
Snoop: I mean what's he going to expect from Chad after all he's Scally's best pal!
Speaking of expecting what can you expect from two Scotsman, a belt and a
bar....no this isn't a joke its all out war we are going live to Glasgow to see
Chopper defend his European title and I guess the 'honour' of Scotland against
T.F.W.F. European title- (Glasgow Pub Brawl)
Chopper (c) vs Grunt
ACTION SWITCHES TO THE INTERIOR OF A GLASGOW PUB. IT IS ALMOST DESERTED, APART
FROM MAHONEY MCMILLAN FACING THE CAMERA, CHOPPER SAT AT THE BAR WITH HIS BACK TO
THE CAMERA, AND A BARMAN CLEANING GLASSES BEHIND THE BAR)
you Scoop, thank you Snoop. Yes, this is Mahoney McMillan, providing live
commentary from the Scorched Sporran in Glasgow, where hopefully, the Brawl for
the European title is about to take place. No sign of Grunt yet, while Chopper
has been warming up for the match with...umm... a couple of whiskies!
turning around, Chopper raises two fingers to the camera. Suddenly, Grunt bursts
through the entrance, with a referee in tow, and marches towards Chopper. Just
as he reaches him, Chopper swings round and lamps Grunt over the head with his
whisky glass. He does this a couple more times, as Grunt staggers backwards,
then smashes a whisky bottle over his head, then headbutts him for good measure.
force of the headbutt sends Grunt falling backwards onto a pool (billiards)
table. Chopper pulls out a pool cue and brings it down over Grunt, then jams the
tip of it into Grunt's throat. With Grunt lying stunned on the table, Chopper
climbs onto the bar.
A brutal start by Chopper, but what's he
trying to do now?
stands on the bar, takes a run-up, and launches himself off the bar for a flying
elbow drop onto the prone Grunt. However, Grunt rolls out of the way at the last
second, leaving Chopper to connect with hard table, which being solid and heavy,
doesn't give an inch. Grunt shakes his head to clear the cobwebs, and gets
shakily to his feet. There is already a trickle of blood appearing from his
hairline. He pulls Chopper off the table, and leads him over to a fruit machine,
into which he smashes Chopper's face several times, on the final impact causing
a cascade of coins to tumble out of the machine.
grabs Chopper's head, and DDTs him onto the pile of coins on the floor. He goes
for the cover..1..2..Chopper kicks out! Grunt picks Chopper up, clubs him across
the back a few times, and drags him over to a jukebox, where he throws Chopper
through the glass front of the machine. The jukebox starts playing John Lennon's
'Merry Xmas (War Is Over)'. Grunt pulls records one by one out of the machine,
and starts breaking them over Chopper's head. Chopper staggers backwards, and
falls through a door marked 'Gents'. Grunt follows him.
Noo! Not the toilets! This is turning
the men's room, Grunt catches up with Chopper, grabs him around the throat, and
throws him through a cubicle door, where he lands in a heap sat on the toilet.
Grunt goes to grab Chopper, but Chopper low blows him, then pulls the ceramic
lid off the cistern, and brings it down over Grunt's skull, breaking it in two.
Grunt wobbles, and Chopper clotheslines him to the men's room floor, where he
goes for the cover..1..2..Grunt kicks out, barely! Chopper pulls him up, leads
him over to the basins, and holds Grunt's head under the tap while he turns it
Drown, ya pillock! And don't forget, NOW
WASH YOUR HANDS!
finally pulls Grunt's head up, then leads him out of the men's room back into
the bar. As they come out of the men's room door, Chopper bumps into a man who's
just come in and bought a drink.
You spilled my pint, ya bastard! Outside,
headbutts the man, then destroys him with the the Director's Cut. He turns
around to be met by a boot to the stomach from Grunt. Grunt then grabs Chopper,
lifts him onto the bar, and sends him sliding face first all the way down the
bar, meeting a stack of glasses with his head at the end. Chopper is now juicing
big time, and rolls off the bar to the floor. The barman carries on casually
wiping the blood off the bar. As Grunt makes his way over, Chopper crawls about,
and pulls himself up against a wall, where there's a dartboard mounted. Grunt
slaps Chopper around the face, then grabs him by the throat, and signals for the
One Shot, One Kill.
It's last call, Chopper. Time to go home!
Chopper reaches around, and in desperation, grabs a dart from the dartboard. He
swings the dart round and jabs it in Grunt's eye. Grunt drops Chopper and
clutches his eye in pain. With Grunt blinded, Chopper pulls the dartboard off
the wall, and rams it into Grunts stomach, causing him to double over, then
brings it down over the back of his head. Grunt crashes to the ground, and
Chopper makes the cover..1..2..Grunt weakly raises a shoulder. Chopper pushes
the ref, accusing him of a slow count. He then makes his way over to a nearby
video game, and with all his strength, pushes the machine over, sending it down
on top of Grunt's chest. Chopper jumps on top of the machine, on top of Grunt,
and the referee makes the count..1..2..3!
pinfall, and STILL European Champion: CHOPPER
What a brutal match! And what a sickening
finish! Grunt is barely moving under there!
of Grunt's legs can be seen twitching underneath the wreckage. Chopper crawls
off and staggers over to the bar.
CHOPPER: Hey, pal, mines a double. (points to Grunt) Don't give him any more, though, he's had enough!
ACTION FROM GLASGOW TO SYDNEY THEN SWITCHES TO EXCLUSION'S LOCKER ROOM. MICHAEL
POUNDS AND THE ULTIMATE SCALLY ARE DISCUSSING THE NIGHTS EVENTS SO FAR)
Ha ha ha !! Did you see me? I totally
kicked Method's and Twist's asses! Man, they're so lame, and I am POUND FOR
POUND THE GREATEST WRESTLER ALIVE!
I AM FAMOUS!
Yeah, but you shouldn't be so hard on
Twist. Believe me , I hated and abhorred the pretty boy, jet set millionaire lifestyle that some members of the
Haven had become accustomed to. I couldn't give a damn about Peacemaker, X and
Hardcore Legend. But Twist and Chad, those two guys knew where I was coming
from. They were two of the best friends a Scally could have!
Forget them, man, they've either WITH
Exclusion, or AGAINST Exclusion! Ain't no in-between!
THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN, AND IN CHARGES HARDCORE LEGEND, WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER
IN HIS ARMS, AND A REFEREE BEHIND HIM. HE BLASTS POUNDS AND SCALLY WITH DRY ICE
FROM THE EXTINGUISER, LEAVING THEM COUGHING AND BLINDED. HE
BRINGS THE EXTINGUISHER VIOLENTLY DOWN ON THE HEAD OF POUNDS, AND THEN
ONTO SCALLY. BOTH OF THEM HIT THE DECK. LEGEND COVERS SCALLY, AND THE REF
Hardcore champion, via 24/7 rule: HARDCORE LEGEND
GRABS THE TITLE BELT OFF THE SIDE, THEN KICKS SCALLY FOR GOOD MEASURE)
That's the last time you steal MY belt,
(HE THEN SMACKS THE REF IN THE HEAD WITH THE BELT, AND QUICKLY MAKES HIS EXIT)
(BACK TO RINGSIDE.)
Scoop: Two brutal matches of sorts, Chopper and Grunt will go down in history as a truly memorable bloodfest then we see Scally lose his Hardcore title simply his way sneaking in Legend taking a page out of Scally's book what can we expect next!
Snoop: Hollywood man! Hollywood!
Scoop: In a few seconds we will see one hell of a Tag match, but first our cameras have caught an incident backstage at its involving Bear and Chad let's take a look.
Snoop: Are they in Hollywood?
(SNOOP PUTS ON SOME SHADES AND A HAT SAYING 'FIDO=RATINGS')
ACTION SWITCHES TO ANOTHER PART OF THE BUILDING. HUGGSY BEAR IS STOOD AT THE TOP
OF THE STAIRS LEADING DOWN INTO THE ARENA'S BOILER ROOM. HE GINGERLY MAKES HIS
WAY DOWN THE STEPS, AS THE LIGHTING DOWN THERE IS POOR)
ANSWER. HE GETS TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS, AND STRAINS TO SEE AHEAD OF HIM IN
Chad, old buddy, are you down here?
NO ANSWER. HUGGSY TRIES TO FEEL HIS WAY AROUND THE BOILER ROOM. WE CAN BARELY
SEE THE OUTLINE OF CHAD, AS HIS ARM REACHES OUT AND TAPS HUGGSY ON HIS SHOULDER.
HUGGSY JUMPS ABOUT A MILE)
No, Chad! What do you want?
(composing himself) What's the matter with you, hanging around in the dark?
Luckily, I wasn't scared!
SHRUGS HIS SHOULDERS)
Anyway, I'm sure you've seen what happened
with the Ultimate Scally...
Yes. Most regrettable.
Yeah, well. This is a vital time for the
Hardcore Haven. I need to know that the rest of us are on the same page. I need
to know that no-one else is going to 'pull a Scally'. In a nutshell, I want to
know, are you still in the Haven's corner?
You want to know where Chad's loyalties
lie... Let Chad tell you what Chad wants. Chad wants to be left alone, because
Chad wants to concentrate SOLELY on his match tonight for his Intercontinental
title. Chad wants to think only of victory over Cry Baby, Phenom and Torch, and
what Chad wants...CHAD GETS!!! And what Huggsy Bear wants is immaterial to Chad!
So is that a yes or a no?
GROWLS AT HUGGSY)
Hell, Chad, all I'm asking for is a little
unity, a sign you're still with us. Tell you what, how about this? During the
main event tonight, The Ultimate Battle, you wander out to ringside, and run a
little interference on the Peacemaker's behalf? How about you doing your bit to
make sure our leader walks away with the T.F.W.F
Heavyweight belt? What do you say, Chad, what do you say?
IS A LONG PAUSE)
Chad says..........NO!!!! No go away.
ACCEPTING DEFEAT, DROPS HIS SHOULDERS, TURNS AROUND, AND TRUDGES BACK UP THE
STAIRS. CHAD STARES AT HIM MOMENTARILY, THEN DISAPPEARS BACK INTO THE DARKNESS)
T.F.W.F. Tag Team titles-
Main Attractions (c) vs Insane Asylum vs The God Squad
*I TOUCH MYSELF- BY THE DIVYNLS PLAYS*
(CRÈME DE LA CRÈME SHIMMIES OUT FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN. MR. SHOWTIME APPEARS. CRÈME WIGGLES HIS BUTT ON THE APRON AS SHOWTIME SIGNALS TO THE BACK AND FIDO WEARING SHADES AND A 'FIDO FOR PRESIDENT' T-SHIRT COMES OUT. J3 SHUFFLES BEHIND HIM KICKING THE GROUND. THE CROWD BOO THE ENTOURAGE)
Jaycee- This match is an elimination match for the T.F.W.F. Tag Team Championships...firstly accompanied by the number one fan J3...and the Ultimate Pet...Fido the Goat...weighing in at combined weight of 437 pounds...they are the T.F.W.F. Tag Team Champions...Crème de la Crème...Mr. Showtime...the MAIN ATTRACTIONS!
Scoop: Look at this entourage.
Snoop: Don't anger Fido!
Scoop: I know I know.
*HOLD ME, THRILL ME, KISS ME KILL ME- BY U2 PLAYS*
Jaycee- Introducing their opponents accompanied by Jane Sanderson at a total combined weight of 470 pounds...Chris Chaos...Snap Sanderson...THE GOD SQUAD!
Scoop: The most technically minded tag team in the T.F.W.F.?
Snoop: Who Fido and J3?
Scoop: Shut up!
(MASSIVE POP AS CHAOS AND SNAP CELEBRATE AMONGST THE FANS CHAOS GIVES SHOWTIME A CUT THROAT SIGN. SHOWTIME RESTRAINS THE ANGERED FIDO)
*IN THE END- LINKIN PARK PLAYS*
Jaycee- And the final team at a total combined weight of 585 pounds...Apocalypse...Creeper...THE INSANE ASYLUM!
(THE ASYLUM GET A GRETA OVATION AS THEY WALK DOWN THE RAMP.)
Scoop: Tag Team mayhem next! Three teams who hate each other!
title match will be fought under these rules: Only one team member will be in
the ring at any one time, meaning three people in the ring. A team will only be
out of the running when both members have been eliminated..
the Main Attractions retain their belts!
up. Should be an interesting match up....You've got the power tandem, the
Asylum, technical expertise from The God Squad, and the cocky, high-flying
approach of the champions, Showtime and Creme.
high-flyers win out, every time! Go Creme! Go Show!
Creme, Snap and
Apocalypse start off in the ring. They warily prowl around the ring, nobody
wanting to make the first move. Eventually, Snap and Apoc look at each other,
then simultaneously charge Creme, knocking him over with double shoulder blocks.
He gets to his feet, and goes straight back down again, courtesy of a double
clothesline. The crowd cheer, Snap celebrates with them, Apoc grabs him from
behind, and nails a scorpion death drop! He makes a quick cover..1...Snap kicks
out, and Creme stomps Apoc in the back. He throws Apoc to the ropes, knocks him
down with a clothesline. Snap tags in Chaos. Creme whips Apoc to the ropes
again, however, Apoc comes back with a flying clothesline, while Chaos takes
Creme's legs from under him with a sweep. Creme goes down super-hard. He holds
his head and rolls to the ropes, while Apoc tries to suplex Chaos, Chaos blocks
it and goes for a roll-up..1..2..Apoc kicks out! Creme tags in Show, who kicks
both Chaos and Apoc before they can get to their feet.
Showtime's dominating them!
SCOOP: Oh yes,
it's very big to attack two guys on the floor as soon as your tagged in!
diss Showtime, or Fido will come out here, and you know what happens when Fido
Show goes to kick
Chaos again, but Chaos grabs his leg, brings him down, and locks in a boston
crab! Apoc tags in Creeper, who brutally boots Chaos in the face. He then goes
to work on Show himself, putting him in a camel clutch. Chaos bounces off the
ropes, and hits a low dropkick to Creeper's face. Chaos then puts Show in an
armbar. Creeper lands an elbow drop to Chaos' back, while Show desperately
scuttles to the ropes to avoid another submission attempt on him. Creeper grabs
Show's ankles, Show holds on to the ropes for dear life. With Show dangling in
mid air, Chaos leapfrogs Creeper from behind, and lands on Show's back. With
Show on the floor writhing in pain, Chaos surprises Creeper with a superkick,
then tags in Snap, who further rocks Creeper with forearms and chops. He whips
Creeper to the ropes, then catches him for a crucifix pinning predicament.
Creeper goes down..1..2..He lifts a shoulder. Both men get up, Creeper swings at
Snap, Snap ducks, and locks in the Snapper! The ref asks Creeper if he wants to
give up! Creeper's hand is hovering, ready to beat the mat, when....Show walks
up to them, ready to hit Snap, Snap releases Creeper, and locks the Snapper in
on Show! Show...somehow..manages to reach the ropes, to a disappointed 'ahh'
from the crowd. Snap releases the hold, both Creeper and Show are still on the
ground recovering, when Flint Fireforge's Mother walks down to ringside, with a
determined look on her face. Snap looks down at her in bemusement. Mother looks
up at Snap, she seems to be wrestling with her conscience, when....she jumps up
onto the ring apron, grabs Snap by the shoulders, and lays down a HUGE kiss on
his lips! Snap is speechless! Jane comes round the ring, pulls Mother down, and
starts shoving her! Suddenly, Flint Fireforge runs down to ringside, grabs Jane
from behind, and hits her with the Demon Drop onto the arena floor! Snap goes to
climb through the ring ropes, but Creeper pulls him back, and Show and Creeper
hit the H2H on Snap! While Show retreats to catch a breather, Creeper covers
Snap..1..2..3! Snap's gone! Flint grabs Mother by the wrist, and makes a hasty
retreat up the ramp, while Snap rolls out the ring, attends to Jane, and carries
been eliminated, thanks to Flint Fireforge and his Mother!
mind that, Mother and Snap are an item! Bye, bye Jane, see you in the divorce
SCOOP: If you
think Snap willingly kissed Mother, you're a bigger fool than I thought you
Chaos enters the
ring as the last remaining member of the God Squad, and Show staggers over and
tags in Creme. As they approach Creeper from opposite sides, he grabs them both
by the throat, and chokeslams them both! He decides to cover Creme..1..2..Creme
kicks out at 2 and seven-eighths! Creeper then turns his attention to Chaos, but
Chaos drop toe holds him, then scoots over him and puts him in a headlock.
Creeper raises to a vertical base, still in Chaos' headlock, and tries to back
suplex him, but Chaos adjusts his position in mid air, and turns it into a cross
body block, covers Creeper..1..2..Creme breaks it up with an elbow drop. Creme
pulls Creeper to his feet, hits a nice standing drop kick which sends Creeper
bouncing off the ropes. Creme goes for a cross body block, Creeper catches him,
then rams him upside down into the corner post, in the tree of woe position.
With Creme stuck there, Creeper picks up Chaos, goes to whip him into Creme, but
Chaos reverses it, sending Creeper crashing into Creme! Creeper staggers out of
the corner, Chaos kicks him in the gut, and hits Complete Chaos! Makes the
cover..1..2..3! Apoc tries to break it up, but he's a fraction too late,
looking good for the Main Attractions. The other two teams are down to one
SNOOP: I told
you! I told you!
The ref releases
Creme's feet from the top turnbuckle, and he starts to crawl back to his corner.
Chaos is rocking Apoc with left jabs. Creme tags in Show, who climbs the top
rope, and hits a double dropkick on Chaos and Apoc. Chaos gets up, Show puts him
in a sleeper hold. Apoc comes up behind them, and puts Show in a sleeper. Show
grabs Apoc around the head, Chaos does the same to Show, double jaw breakers!
Show and Apoc both hold their jaws, Chaos dropkicks Apoc, sending him crashing
between the ropes. Show climbs the turnbuckle, flies off for the Main Eventer,
Chaos ducks and Show hits nothing but floor. Chaos waits for Show to get up, and
hits Complete Chaos. He goes for the cover...Creme tries to get in the ring, but
the ref is preventing him. Creme argues with the ref, while the ref's back is
turned, Torch sprints down with a steel chair in his hand, slides in the ring,
and brings it down over Chaos' back. Torch drapes Show over Chaos and leaves the
ring, the ref turns around..1...2..3! Chaos is out! Chaos rubs his back, then
begins to sprint up the ramp after Torch, who gets wind of this and does a
SCOOP: The God
Squad are out! Damn you, Torch, damn you to Hell!
This is the preferential treatment you get when you're a member of Rezerection!
Every job has it's perks!
Apoc has now
re-entered the ring, and leg drops Show, goes for the cover..1..2..Show kicks
out. Apoc picks him up, and hits a sit-down powerbomb, the ref
counts..1..2..Creme makes the save. The ref ushers Creme out of the ring, and
Apoc climbs the turnbuckle, but Creme wobbles the ropes, and sends Apoc crashing
down to get crotched on the top. Show tags in Creme, who climbs the turnbuckle,
with Apoc still sat on it, and raises him up for a superplex! Creme makes the
cover.1...2..Apoc kicks out. Creme starts working on Apoc's leg and knee with
kicks and toe holds. Apoc grabs the rope, but Show kicks his hand away. Creme
drags Apoc into the middle, and locks on the Creamy Middle! The crowd are trying
to get behind Apoc, as he fights the pain. The ref is asking Apoc if he wants to
give up, then...Apoc reverses the hold. Its Creme's turn to grimace in pain.
Finally, Show comes in and kicks Apoc in the back Creme grabs Apoc, and Show
signals for him to whip Apoc into the ropes, where Show intends to punch him.
Creme goes to whip him, but Apoc reverses it, sending Creme and Show crashing in
to each other. Show flies off the apron, and Creme staggers back into the centre,
where Apoc grabs him and hits a big body slam. He waits for Creme to get to his
feet...then nails the Fall Of Man! He covers Creme..1..2..3! Creme is
eliminated. As Apoc grabs his breath, Show creeps up behind him, and rolls him
up from behind, with a handful of tights..1..2..3! He got him!
pinfall, and STILL Tag Team champions: THE MAIN ATTRACTIONS
SNOOP: Yay! Creme
and Showtime are still the champs! They're gonna live for ever!!!
SCOOP: Steady on, Snoop, or you'll get your tongue wedged up their asses!
(AFTER THE TAG TITLE MATCH THE ACTION GOES BACKSTAGE TO DA GREMLIN STANDING WITH PEZ.)
Pez- I am here with Gizmo star of the Gremlin films, Gizmo welcome, I certainly won't be splashing you with water.
DG- Thanks mate, I do turn nasty after a little water and food after midnight.
DG- Listen here mate nobody appreciates your comedy interviewing more than me, but I think I can sum up what the world is thinking. For now the comedy antics of Da Gremlin are over because he has to go out in front of his own country and prove he is better than Tiger Young, that he was the better Extreme Player, do I feel pressure, sure I feel pressure I am feeling it Pez, but I am also feeling a victory with in my grasp and since every Tag Team has its winner...and I am ours...I think I can take it.
Pez- Gizmo here preparing to do battle in Gremlins 3: The Ironman Match back, now let's go to Sniff who is standing with a turnip.
(THE ACTION GOES TO THE DAMNED YANKEE STANDING WITH SNIFF.)
Sniff- I wouldn't exactly call the Damned Yankee a turnip.
DY- You'd be a bit silly to Sniff.
Sniff- Yankee tonight marks your return to PPV action it marks the Damned Yankee back in the top flight gunning for the T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Championship, tell us about it.
DY- Back to the top flight? I have always been the top flight Sniff and tonight when I prove that the Yankee is the only man with the Ultimate Will to be the Ultimate Champion...and there ain't a DAMNED THING THE REST OF THE T.F.W.F. CAN DO ABOUT IT!
(YANKEE PUSHES PAST SNIFF AND WALKS AWAY.)
Tiger Young vs Da Gremlin (iron man match)
Scoop: Hometown hero all the pressure is on because for one night on Da Gremlin lets see how him and Young came to face each other.
[FLASHBACK: EXTREME PLAYERS BREAKUP WHEN YOUNG ATTACKED GREMS AT AA2...YOUNG COSTING GREMS THE TITLE IN HARDCORE BIG BROTHER WHEN YOUNG WAS LATER ARRESTED.]
Jaycee- This match is an iron man match...it will be a sixty minute bout with the most falls being the overall winner.
*WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE- BY GUNS AND ROSES PLAYS*
(TIGER YOUNG EMERGES TO HUGE HEAT FROM THE CROWD. HE SMILES AT THEM SICKLY AND IS WEARING AN EXCLUSION SHIRT WITH HIS USUAL TIGER TIGHTS. HE WALKS DOWN THE RAMP MOONS A RANDOM KID WHO HE THEN FARTS IN HIS FACE FOLLOWED BY SLAPPING HIS MOTHER AT THE SAME TIME.)
Jaycee- From Miami, Florida weighing 235 pounds...TIGER YOUNG!
Scoop: Listen to this crowd they hate young.
Snoop: Damn freak Aussies!
*AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM HITS*
(CROWD EXPLODES IN THE BIGGEST POP OF THE NIGHT.)
(DA GREMLIN RIDES HIS TRICYCLE ONTO THE STAGE AND LOOKS AT THE CROWD THEY CHEER HIM AND CHANT 'TRICYCLES' HE RIDES DOWN THE RAMP SMILING THE WHOLE WAY.)
Jaycee- From SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA WEIGHING IN AT 227 POUNDS...DA GREMLIN!
young comes racing up, and attacks Gremlin from behind halfway up the ramp. Grem
turns round, and the two exchange multiple blows, to huge crowd noise. By the
time they reach the area surrounding the ring, Grem has got the upper hand, and
rolls Young into the ring. Grem climbs into the ring himself, and is met by a
double axe handle to the back. Tiger whips Grem to the ropes, lies flat as Grem
jumps over him, leapfrogs Grem as he comes back again, then finally nails Grem
with a spinning forearm. Tiger plays to the crowd, who boo heartily. He
picks Grem up, goes to whip him to the ropes again, but Grem reverses it, lies
flat while Tiger jumps over him, leapfrogs Tiger on the return, then finally
nails Tiger with a spinning heel kick. HE plays to the crowd, who love it! He
goes to pick Tiger up, but Young gets him in a small package..1..2..Grem shifts
his weight and pins Tiger's shoulders..1..2..Young shifts again to the original
small package..1..2..Grem breaks free, and they both jump to their feet, and
it's a stand-off! The crowd applaud!
These two know each other just TOO well!
Tiger flies into Grem with a forearm, then whips him into the cornerpost face
first. As Grem staggers backwards out of the corner, Young hits him with a
bulldog. He goes for the cover..1..2..Grem lifts his shoulder. Tiger picks him
up and nails a huge stalling suplex, covers again..1..2..Grem kicks out again.
Tiger locks him in a reverse chin lock. After a couple of minutes, with the
crowd behind him, Grem manages to reach a standing position. He elbows Tiger in
the guts, then bounces off the ropes, but Tiger cuts him off with a knee to the
midsection on his return. He drives an elbow into Grem's throat, then picks him
up and hits a backbreaker. With Grem on the ground, Tiger climbs the turnbuckle,
waits for Grem to get up, and attempts a misslie drop kick, but....Grem catches
his legs, twists him round, and has him trapped in a sharpshooter! Young tries
to reach the ropes, and almost succeeds, but Grem drags him back into the
middle. Finally, with the crowd at fever pitch, Young beats the mat! First blood
to Da Gremlin!
12 minutes: Da Gremlin 1; Tiger Young 0
releases the hold, and Tiger crawls to the ropes. Grem tries to grab him by the
leg, but gets a boot in the mush. Young pulls himself up, and kicks Grem in the
ribs. He hoists Grem up, and hits a jackhammer, goes for the cover..1..2..Grem
kicks out. He goes to pick Grem up again, Grem surprises him with a small
package..1..2..Tiger escapes. Tiger stomps on Grem, then throws him to the
ropes, and on the rebound, ties him up in an abdominal stretch. The ref asks
Grem if he wants to give up. After a couple of minutes, Grem reverses it! The
ref asks Tiger. Finally, Tiger reverses it again, but Grem hiptosses his way out
of it. Tiger gets up, rushes at him, Grem takes him down with a drop toe hold,
Tiger gets up again, Grem arm drags him. Tiger gets up again, Grem whips him to
the ropes, Grem goes for the clothesline, Young ducks and goes behind for a
sleeper. Grem begins to slump. After a while, the ref holds Grem's arm up...it
drops once...it drops twice...it...stays up on the third time of asking! Grem
begins to revive, as the crowd go crazy! He pushes Young to the ropes, but once
again Young ducks under and goes back to the sleeper. This time, Grem hits a jaw
breaker to break the hold, and follows up with a drop kick. He covers
Young..1..2..Tiger kicks out! He picks Tiger up, but Young rakes Grem's eyes,
then picks him up and nails a huge piledriver! Instead of covering Grem, Tiger
climbs the turnbuckle. On the way up, he stops to trash talk the fans.
Young's taking too long up there!
Never mind the fans, Tiger. Kill Da
reaches the top, but Grem jumps to his feet, and begins to scale the turnbuckle.
He starts to punch Young, and it looks like Grem might come out on top, but then
Tiger low blows him, and hoists him up for a powerbomb from the top rope! He
hits it...BOOM! As Young makes the cover, the count is a formality..1..2..3!
29 minutes: Da Gremlin 1; Tiger Young 1
maintains the advantage by kicking Grem while he's down. He then crosses Grem's
legs behind him, and gets him in a bow and arrow submission hold. The ref again
asks Grem if he wants to give up, but Grem is fighting through the pain barrier,
despite being almost out on his feet. Finally, Tiger decides he's not getting
anywhere, and releases the hold. He picks Grem up and goes to whip him to the
ropes, Grem reverses it, Tiger ducks one clothesline, comes back again, ducks a
back elbow, comes back again, and Grem telegraphs a back body drop attempt.
Tiger hits the brakes, and sets Grem up for the Sabretooth! He hits it,
36 minutes: Da Gremlin 1; Tiger Young 2
Ha ha ha! In less than ten minutes,
Tiger's gone from being one down, to being one up!
The question now is, who's got the most
left in their tank?
My money's on Tiger - Da Gremlin's out of
Gremlin rolls out of the ring, to avoid any further punishment. Tiger follows
him out, and starts clubbing him around the outside. He throws Grem into the
guard rail, and Grem falls over it into the crowd. Young climbs over the rail,
hits Grem a few times, then throws him back over. Young joins him, picks up the
steel ring steps, and brings them down on Grem's knee. He picks Grem up, and
leads him to the announcer's table, where he picks Grem up, and gives him a shin
breaker onto the table. Grem collapses. He picks Grem up again, dumps him on top
of the table, and climbs onto the ring apron.
Whatever Young's going to do now, if he
hits it, this could be all over!
readies himself, then flies off the ring apron for a big splash onto the prone
Gremlin. However, Grem moves at the last second, Young hits table, the table
gives way, and Tiger is left lying in a cloud of dust and rubble. The crowd
gasp. Eventually, Grem gets up, limping, and pulls Young up, and rolls him into
the ring. Grem takes his time getting into the ring himself, as his leg is
killing him.He eventually makes the cover..1..2..Young just raises a shoulder,
to the crowd's disappointment. Grem slaps the mat in frustration. He picks Young
up, and hits a DDT, followed by a fist drop, covers again..1..2..Young kicks
out. Grem begins to climb the turnbuckle, jumps off the top rope...Tiger lifts a
boot up, straight onto Grem's chin. Both men are down, the ref begins to
count..1..2...3..4...5...6..7..8..They both stagger to their feet. Tiger goes to
kick Grem, Grem catches his foot, Tiger smacks him with an enziguiri. Grem goes
down, Young picks him up, smiles devilishly to the crowd, and puts Grem into
position again for the Sabretooth! However, Grem powers out of it, and turns it
into a back body drop! Tiger gets to his feet, bounces off the ropes and flies
at Grem for a flying cross press, Grem catches him, repositions him, and hits
the Rebellion! He covers..1..2..3!
52 minutes: Da Gremlin 2; Tiger Young 2
goes to grab Young again, but he grabs Grem's trunks and sends him into the
corner post. Young goes for a roll-up..1..2..Grem kicks out. They both get up,
Grem latches onto Tiger for a crucifix pin..1..2..Young kicks out. The announcer
tells us there's 5 minutes left. Tiger and Grem charge at each other, Grem hits
a vicious lariat, covers..1..2..Tiger kicks out. Grem whips Tiger to the ropes,
goes for a back body drop, but Young turns it into a sunset flip, he manages to
pull Grem over..1..2..Grem tips over and pins Tiger with a bridge..1..2..Young
kicks out. Now there's 3 minutes left! Grem grabs Tiger's arm, wraps it round
and ties him up into a pinning predicament..1..2..Tiger kicks out. They get up,
Tiger goes for a small package..1..2..Grem gets out of it. 1 minute left! They
lock up, turn each other around, and Grem turns it into a backslide..1..2..Young
raises a shoulder! 30 seconds! Young whips Grem to the ropes, charges at Grem,
Grem jumps over, hooks his legs around Tiger's arms, tumbles over, his legs pin
Youngs shoulders to the mat..1...2...Young reverses the pin so his legs are
pinning Grem, Tiger grabs the middle rope with both hands, the ref doesn't see
it..1..2..3! Young has done it! The bell goes to signify the end of the hour!
by 3 falls to 2: TIGER YOUNG
That's not right! Tiger Young had both
hands on the ropes!
Doesn't matter! All that matters is, Tiger
has proved he's better than Da Gremlin!
crowd are livid. Grem is complaining that to the ref that Young was holding on
to the ropes. Young comes up behind him, spins Grem around, and gives him the
finger. In response, Grem kicks Tiger in the stomach, and hits another
Rebellion, to a massive crowd pop!
(THE ACTION GOES BACKSTAGE TO CRY BABY STANDING WITH PEZ.)
Pez- Are you scared...
Pez- Are you sure!
Pez- Then take the top card from the deck!
(BABY REMOVES A TOP CARD FROM A DECK OF CARDS AND LOOKS AT IT HIDING IT FROM PEZ.)
Pez- Your card is....the 3 of clubs....
CB- No it isn't.
Pez- Yes it is.
(PEZ THEN GRABS BABY'S CARD AND PUTS IT BEHIND HIS BACK AND THEN SHUFFLES HIS HANDS AND REVEALS A 3 OF CLUBS)
CB- Wow you are right! Damn Pez you are magical just like the magical performance I plan to pull off in a few short minutes!
Pez- I am sure you will, I am sure you will, but sometimes magic just wasn't meant to be.
CB- Tonight the magic shall happen PEZ! It's Christmas time after all!
(BABY WALKS AWAY LEAVING PEZ SHUFFLING HIS DECK???)
(THE ACTION CUTS BACK TO SNIFF IN ANOTHER PART OF THE ARENA STANDING WITH NALDO.)
Sniff- With me at this time one man looking for success he is the man who claims to be the rightful T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Champion. He is Naldo.
Naldo- I don't claim to be anything Sniff than the man DESTINED to be great in the T.F.W.F. and tonight in the Ultimate Battle I shall seal the FATE of the others...grief is my bread...tears are my wine...I am power made flesh.
(NALDO WALKS AWAY.)
Sniff- Well, I guess I won't get to ask him about the Management, Naldo completely focused on the task at hand, back to ringside.
T.F.W.F. Intercontinental title-
Chad (c) vs Torch vs Cry Baby vs Phenom
Scoop: Now this is one to remember....who has the nerve to be the T.F.W.F. Intercontinental Champion?
[FLASHBACK: THE FEUDS A WITH CHAD AND PHENOM ARE SHOWN OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS...CHAD WINNING THE IC TITLE...TORCH'S EMERGENCE ON THE SCENE AND THE ATTACK ON THE GIMP AND HENRY WINKLER...THE RETURN OF CRY BABY AS WELL, ALL MASQUERADED INTO A COLLEAGUE.]
Jaycee- This match is an elimination match and is for the T.F.W.F. Intercontinental title...
*FRONTIER PSYCHIATRIST- BY AVALANCHES PLAYS*
(CHAD WALKS OUT ON THE RAMP, AND THROWS THE JESUS CHRIST POSE, ARMS OUTSTRETCHED AT HIS SIDES, AND HEAD BOWED. PYROS GO OFF, CHAD THROWS HIS HEAD BACK AND MARCHES RINGWARD)
Jaycee- Introducing first from Seattle, Washington weighing 250 pounds...he is the T.F.W.F. Intercontinental Champion...THE SICKNESS...CHAD!
Scoop: The man who always has a psychological edge and a man who's future was cast into doubt earlier tonight, Chad playing the Haven tune or just a solo song?
Snoop: Is that a question.
Scoop: Never mind!
*BY MYSELF- BY LINKIN PARK PLAYS*
(FIRE PYROS EXPLODE AS TORCH WALKS ONTO THE RAMP HE HAS THE GIMP, RAZER AND HENRY WINKLER CHAINED TO HIS LEFT WRIST. HE WALKS DOWN THE RAMP AND GETS IN CHAD'S FACE.)
Jaycee- And his opponent from Short Hills, New Jersey weighing in at 240 pounds...TORCH
(TORCH AND CHAD BEGIN SQUARING UP TO EACH OTHER AND TALKING TRASH. THEY CROWD BOO THEM AS PHENOM STORMS THE RING AND TAKES THEM DOWN WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE)
Scoop: Phenom from nowhere has exploded with a clothesline!
(THE CROWD POP AS CRY BABY COMES
SPEEDING DOWN THE RAMP AND HURTLES HIMSELF IN A CANNON BALL INTO ALL THREE MEN
SENDING THE CROWD WILD!)
Baby immediately goes to the outside and tries to fiddle with the lock chaining Henry Winkler to the ringpost. Torch however grabs Baby by the hair and pulls him into the ring. Winkler looks upset as Razer laughs, Winkler then knocks him out with a right hand to the head sending the crowd into another frenzy! In the ring Phenom starts picking apart Chad with rights and lefts backing him into the corner and tossing him hard into the ropes, on the rebound Phenom slams Chad with a clothesline from hell and gets a one count on the pin attempt. Phenom pulls Chad to his knees, but the IC Champ lowblows him and scores an uppercut dizzying the big man before taking him down with a fireman's carry. Torch meanwhile has Baby in the corner and throws shoulder barges into his midsection on the third attempt, Baby lifts himself with the use of the ropes and goes for a sunset flip, but Torch grabs the rope and drops hard onto Baby's face with his butt! Torch grabs Baby and lifts him to the air with a gorilla press slam sending him hard to the outside, but then Torch himself falls victim to a Chad german suplex.
Scoop: Typical in this situation Snoop very difficult to make an advantage.
Snoop: Well Scoop, since you are as about as schooled in wrestling as a donkey at a duck fight...anyway you suck.
Scoop: I wish I could turn you off, the idea of this event simple elimination folks last man is the IC Champ.
Snoop: Well you can't turn me off and before you start you could never, ever turn me on!
Phenom gets to his feet and goes for Chad scoring a big boot to the face of Chad. Chad hits the floor like a rock and Phenom pounces on him with rights and lefts to a huge roar from the crowd. Torch gets to his feet and scores a double axe handle to the back of Phenom. It hardly phases the big man as he arises and grabs Torch around the neck and goes for a choke slam, but Chad slams a right hand to Phenom's back. The pair grab Phenom and send him into the ropes they go for a double clothesline, but Phenom ducks it, on the rebound Torch grabs Chad and scores a 'third degree burn' on him! As Torch gets ready to go for a cover, Phenom rebounds hard with a clothesline taking Torch down, he nails Chad with a splash, but Chad is able to get a shoulder up after two and an almost three. Phenom picks Chad to his feet as the champ stands groggy after the 3rd degree burn, Phenom picks Chad into a bear hug, but Baby is up and leaps onto the top rope he flies off with a spinning heel kick taking Chad and Phenom down to the canvass. Baby jumps to his feet and throws his hands in the air in triumph to a massive crowd pop. Baby runs off the rope and goes for the 'immortal baby leg drop', but Torch is up and scores a throw on Baby setting his neck straight onto the top rope, The Babe staggers back and Torch scores a big neckbreaker as Baby hits the canvass hard. Torch stands above the three bodies and goes to check on his captives on the outside, Razer is still unconscious, Torch gives Winkler an impressed look as Winkler scowls, but Bbay is up behind Torch, Torch turns around to a set of fierce Baby right hands to the face sending him hard into the ropes, Baby scores a hurricana off the rebound and Torch is held down for a two count before kicking out. Phenom and Chad both get to their feet meanwhile. Phenom grabs Chad in a double handed choke lift scoring a big powerbomb pin, Chad gets a shoulder up again with a close call. Phenom can't believe the resilience of Chad as he shakes his head, Phenom brings Chad to his feet and wraps Chad into a bear hug putting pressure on the winded Chad, Baby moves into play hitting both of them with right hands it has little effect and is dealt a double chokeslam from the pair!
Scoop: Jesus Baby has gone way way up and Chad and Phenom have taken him way, way down!
Snoop: Like I was saying he has no confidence I mean those right hands were pathetic!
Scoop: You never said that.
Chad and Phenom turn around trading blows over the broken body of Cry Baby. Phenom hits two quick jabs to get the advantage, Chad is backed into the corner as Phenom shoves his boot into the throat of Chad choking the life out of him to a huge crowd ovation. Torch sneaks up behind the pair and tries to full nelson bomb, Phenom, Phenom powers out of the move and grabs Torch and tosses him to the outside with a hip toss! Torch goes crashing hard onto the steel steps and the replay is shown over and over, surely so far bump of the match. Phenom turns his attention back to Chad grabbing him around the neck, he mounts the top of the rope and jumps off with the momentum off the jump he is able to lift Chad high off the ground and send him crashing hard to the canvass. Phenom receives an outstanding pop from the crowd as he mounts the top turnbuckle and eyes a big belly splash onto the Intercontinental Champion. Torch however gets to his feet and starts to verbally abuse Phenom on the ropes. The big man turns around and looks at Torch getting ready to pounce, Chad meanwhile gets to his feet and shoves Phenom from the behind sending him flying off the top onto Torch! The crowd gasp as both men take a hard tumble. As they do Baby does a flip out and gets to his feet clenching his fists in an intense moment and getting the crowd to its feet, Chad is unaware as he turns around with no worries he is met with a big shot to the forehead by Baby, the slams repeated fists into the head of Chad to a roar of the crowd he sends him into the ropes and uses the set up move to the leg drop a boot to the face even though he has to leap and it looks more like a kick than a boot, Chad wobbles and flies over the top rope landing on the other two. They all get to their feet as the crowd cheer Baby on he takes one look scrunches up his face for courage and leaps onto the top rope and scores a flipping asai moonsault onto all three men!!! They are all laying motionless as the crowd cheer, Baby is first to his feet cheered on by Winkler leading the crowd in a clapping chant he grabs Chad and tosses him back in the ring and mounts the top rope again and goes for a moonsault, but Phenom is up and clotheslines Baby off the top into the ring, Chad gets to his feet and lays a drop knee to the head. The ref is paying little attention to what is going on, on the outside as Torch gets up the sneaky bastard walks over to the ring announcer and grabs his chair Phenom is still standing on the apron about to get in, but in a flash Torch rams the chair hard into his knee, Phenom collapses to the apron in pain, watching the ref isn't looking Torch lays a few chair shots to the knee of Phenom as the big man rocks in agony. Torch wraps Phenom's leg around the ringpost and lays more vicious chair shots to the knee cap over and over again.
Scoop: Referee stop the mad man Torch!
Snoop: I think he might be blind come to think of it he does look like Mr. Magoo and what the ref don't see don't hurt unless you Phenom...hahaha...carry on Torch man...carry on.
Torch eventually stops the onslaught and pulls Phenom to the outside he gives him a knee breaker, Phenom can't even stand as he screams in agony, Torch tosses Phenom in the ring and drops and elbow to the knee before attaching a deadly figure four leglock. Phenom immediately taps out and EMTs rush to drag the fallen Hoodlum leader away on a stretcher, but Torch doesn't stop the onslaught there beating Phenom on the stretcher with the chair, even the Sickness seems somewhat bemused in the ring as he lays into Cry Baby.
Phenom eliminated via submission by Torch
Torch eventually lets go off Phenom and caries the chair back to the ring the ref tries to stop him entering the ring with it, but Torch refuses it holding the chair up, Chad instinctively nails him with a baseball slide on the outside slamming the chair straight into his face!!! The crowd actual cheer after the evil Torch assault on Phenom. Chad gets up and returns to his beating on Baby scoring an inverted atomic drop followed by a really stiff forearm sending the flyweight hard to the floor. Chad bounds off the ropes and sinks an elbow drop to the throat of his opponent. He covers Bay, but he gets a shoulder up. Chad brings Baby to his feet and executes a piledriver to the canvass and goes for another cover, but Baby gets his feet on the ropes and breaks the count, Chad pulls it off and picks Baby up again and nails a second piledriver to the canvass he goes for a second cover, but Baby kicks out after two!!! Baby gets to his feet and shakes his head! He starts walking around the ring shaking his head, Chad slams a right hand into his face Baby is no impervious to pain!
Scoop: Look at the Babe!
Snoop: Am I in a time warp or something
Scoop: Watch you going to do when the Baby dribbles all over you!
Chad looks puzzled as he goes for a second right which Baby blocks and counters with a right hand of his own and a rake of the eyes, he sends Chad into the ropes and scores the set up move of the 'Baby Big Boot', Chad goes down like a ton of bricks, The Babe runs into the ropes, but Torch grabs his legs and pulls him to the outside and starts beating on The Babe, all of a sudden Chris Chaos comes racing down to ringside to a huge crowd pop and nails Torch with a vicious spear to the back knocking Baby down as well, Chaos sends Torch hard into the steel steps as Torch goes flying over the top, Chaos grabs him and 'complete chaos' onto the steps with a sickening thud!!! Chaos gets a huge pop as he rolls a limp Torch into the ring. Chad is down and is Baby as Chaos jumps briefly onto the apron to celebrate to a huge crowd pop. The Babe arises first and pulls himself onto the apron, he sees Chad and Torch lying motionless and mounts the top rope going for a swanton bomb onto Torch and scoring it, he barely hooks the leg getting one...two...three and eliminating Torch from the match.
Torch eliminated via pinfall by Cry Baby
Scoop: Chris Chaos just cost Torch a chance to be Intercontinental Champion somewhat justified after Torch cost him and Snap the Tag Gold earlier.
Snoop: Are you blind Torch was going to win!!!
The Babe rolls to the outside and starts to mess with the chains releasing Henry Winkler, the Gimp asks for similar treatment, but Baby just sticks his tongue out to him and the crowd scream in delight. Winkler pats The Babe on the back and tellsa him to go get Chad.
Scoop: There's the confidence boost, The Fonz just The Babe an ehhhh!
Snoop: I wish Mrs. C. would come out here I'd show her my Happy Days!
Cry Baby looks at Chad and gets in the ring, he looks to nail the 'immortal baby leg drop' he bounds with pace off the rop, but stops in mid burst.
Snoop: He's lost his confidence the nerd!
Scoop: Wait...he signaling...he's pointing to the turnbuckle...The Babe is...CALLING HIS SHOT!!!!
The crowd explode as Cry Baby walks over to the turnbuckle and mounts it steadying himself on the top he closes his eyes and gives the Fonz a thumbs up...he returns the favour, The Babe with ballerina type grace runs across the top rope! He flies off and lands the leg drop to the throat of Chad!!! The crowd are on their feet as Cry Baby lays motionless for a second...he slowly crawls over to Chad and places his arm over him...one...two...Chad kicks out!!!
Scoop: My God how much can the Sickness absorb!
Snoop: A whole lot by the looks of things! It's Chad's match now that's all Cry Baby had and he couldn't get the job done!
Cry Baby rolls off and puts his hands into his face in disbelief he looks at the Fonz who tells him to get up, Baby does and picks Chad to his feet he sends Chad into the ropes and fundamentally puts his head down too quick! Chad executes a perfectly timed swinging neckbreaker on The Babe, Chad grabs Baby immediately and sets him up on the top rope, he mounts the second turnbuckle and signals for the 'chadbuster' he grabs Baby and 'chadbusts' him off the top rope. Chad also hits the canvass hard, he places a loose arm over Cry Baby to get the one...two...three.
Chad gets to his feet as his music blares, he staggers back and forth holding his throat, he grabs the Intercontinental title and slings it over his shoulder standing over Cry Baby and mocking him. Chad walks to the outside and snears at Henry Winkler he unlocks his Gimp and slaps him around the head, the Gimp scurries behind Chad as the Intercontinental Champion stands on the ramp, he throws the throws the Jesus Christ pose as his music plays out. The shot goes to Baby laying in the ring, Henry Winkler picks him up and thrusts The Babe's hand in the air in victory, the crowd cheer as The Babe's music plays out, he and the Fonz walk backstage.
Cry Baby eliminated via pinfall by Chad
Winner of the match and STILL T.F.W.F. Intercontinental Champion: Chad
Scoop: A valiant effort from The Babe, but The Sickness has once again proved how great of an Intercontinental Champion he can be. The Babe certainly proved he could last the pace with the Big Boys, but let's also talk about the despicable acts of Torch, and him getting his just deserts.
Snoop: I don't agree at all, Torch legitimately took out an opponent in this one only to be robbed by that idiot Chris Chaos. Chris Chaos is just jealous because Torch was in the match he wanted to be in because frankly Torch is better, Chris Chaos prepare to be burned. As for the Intercontinental Champion it only proves one thing Chad can now call himself one of the great IC Champions of all time putting to rest the 'legend' of the Babe's ability to win big matches proving once and for all the Babe has no damn confidence!
Scoop: That's Snoop verdict and in closing for this it was a hell of a match...speaking of hell its next, its the Ultimate Battle its Pimp In against Peacemaker against Naldo against the Damned Yankee in what promises to be the most intense Main Event of all time a potential 5 fall affair and its for...The T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Championship.
(THE WAY THIS CHAMPIONSHIP UNFOLDED IS SHOWN AGAIN AS OFF THE TOP OF THE SHOW TO THE MUSIC OF M.O.P.)
T.F.W.F. Heavyweight title- (Ultimate Battle 5 matches)
Pimp In (c) vs Peacemaker vs Damned Yankee vs Naldo
(THE BELL RINGS.)
(THERE IS A SLIGHT HUSH OVER THE T.F.W.F. CROWD.)
Jaycee- Ladies and gentlemen this match is Ice Storm 2001's Main Event!!!!
(MASSIVE CROWD POP.)
Jaycee- And it's for the T.F.W.F. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
(CROWD EXPLODE MORE!)
Jaycee- The rules are this, the first man to gain victory in two falls will be our winner, therefore there will be at least two falls in this competition...the first fall will be a rafter match, the winner being the last man left on the rafter...the second fall will be an inferno match being the only man not to be burned by the inflamed ropes...the third match will be a submission match the winner being the first man to make any of the other men submit....the fourth match will be a hardcore match with the first man getting a pinfall claiming the fall...if required the match can go to a fifth and final fall which will be an electrified cage match the winner being the first man to claim a fall inside the cage via pin or submission. I would not like to introduce to you the temporary CEO of the T.F.W.F.. Mr. Huggsy BEAR!!!
(THE CROWD BOO AS 'GREAT BALLS OF FIRE' PLAYS. BEAR WALKS ONTO THE STAGE AND BOWS TO THE CROWD WHO BEGIN TO THROW ITEMS AT HIM.)
HB- Ladies and gentlemen thank you for making it to MY PAY PER VIEW!
(MORE CROWD BOOS.)
HB- Now since the Management is well...INDISPOSED...I have decided to somewhat tamper with the Pay Per View since its only fair...I feel that there is an increased security alert at ringside...I mean CEO kidnappings left right and center and since I want to make sure this match is fair I have enlisted the services of these men to make sure I am well protected at ringside...Introducing to you...The reigning Hardcore Champion Hardcore Legend...X and the reigning Intercontinental Champion...Chad!
*HE COME D PAIN- FROM THE T.F.W.F. ALBUM PLAYS*
(LEGEND, X AND CHAD WALK ONTO THE STAGE AND SURROUND HUGGSY BEAR. THEY ESCORT HIM TO RINGSIDE AS HE SITS DOWN WITH THE COMMENTARY TEAM AT RINGSIDE. CHAD, X AND LEGEND PATROL THE RINGSIDE AREA.)
*PLEASE FORGIVE MY FUCKED UP ATTITUDE, BUT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU...*
(THE ARENA GOES BLACK. BLUE LIGHTNING STARTS TO FLASH, AS A THUNDERBOLT SLAMS INTO THE STAGE AREA. THE PEACEMAKER APPEARS FROM THE SMOKE, AND STOPS TO GIVE THE ARENA A LOOK FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. HE WALKS TO THE RING, WITH THE BLUE LIGHTNING FLASHING FASTER AND FASTER. HE SLIDES IN, WALKS UP TO A TURNBUCKLE, AND THROWS HIS ARMS OUT TO THE SIDE, AND LOOKS UPWARD AT THE SKY, TAKING IN THE MASSIVE HOWL OF HEAT FROM THE CROWD. HE THEN JUMPS OFF WITH A SMIRK. HE LOOKS AT THE 'CEO' WHO HE NODS AT AS THEY EXCHANGE A WICKED SMILE HE SURVEYS THE RING AND SEES THE RAFTER BEING LOWERED SLOWLY HE GETS OUT AND WHISPERS SOMETHING IN EACH HAVEN MEMBERS EAR, BOTH X AND LEGEND SMILE, CHAD BATTERED FROM A PREVIOUS ENCOUNTER IS MOTIONLESS AS MAKER STARES DOWN THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION.)
Jaycee- Introducing first from Manhattan, New York weighing in at 261 pounds...THE PEACEMAKER!!!
(THE HEAT IS DEAFENING AS MAKER SMILES ONCE MORE AT HIS NAME INTRODUCTION HE SMILE FADES AS HE STAMPS ON THE RAFTER TO TEST HOW STRONG IT IS.)
Scoop: There he is possibly the most psychotic man in wrestling, maybe the world, stories surrounding his out of 'arena interests' with the FBI, but in the ring you cannot doubt this man might be the next T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Champion.
HB: From a completely unbiased point of view Scoop, if you doubt it at all your are completely wrong.
Scoop: I'd expect nothing from you Bear after what you did a few weeks back.
Snoop: Jesus, show the CEO some respect Scoop, Huggsy it's a pleasure to have a REAL opinion at ringside I have been carrying this commentary team for too long.
(THE ARENA DIMS.)
*THIS IS MY LAST RESORT...SUFFOCATION...NO BREATHING DON'T GIVE A FUCK*
(NALDO STRIDES OUT ONTO THE STAGE TO HEAT LIKE MAKER'S. HE IS WEARING A LONG BLACK TRENCH COAT. HIS WALK WAY IS LIT BY WARRIOR LOGOS AS HE WALKS DOWN. HE GETS IN THE RING AND SLAMS HIS FIST INTO THE GROUND AS TWO REZERECTION PYROS EXPLODE AROUND HIM HE GRABS A NEAR BY STEEL STEP AND THREATENS TO THROW IT INTO THE CROWD. BEFORE HE STANDS NOSE TO NOSE WITH THE PEACEMAKER IN THE RING.)
Jaycee- From parts unknown weighing in at 240 pounds...NALDO!!!
Scoop: And if we don't have the criminally insane we now have the plain INSANE...the actions of Naldo last week when he viciously threw those steps into the crowd can this attitude win him the belt?
HB: Not a chance.
Snoop: I disagree, Naldo is the rightful Champion after all he was ROBBED by the fans and all.
HB: I can see that point...
Scoop: They might be crazy, but you boys are just plain stupid.
*FROM THE EAST COAST TO THE WEST COAT GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA GO*
(THE CROWD EXPLODE IN A FRENZY OF CHEERS AS AGNOSTIC FRONT HITS THE SPEAKERS. THE DAMNED YANKEE WALKS ONTO THE T.F.W.F. STAGE HE UTTERS A TYPICAL SMILE OF THE YANKEE WHICH SIGNIFIES AN ASS KICKING. HE WALKS DOWN THE RAMP BRISKLY AND NALDO AND MAKER STOP THEIR STARE COMPETITION.)
Scoop: It's a man Event and it wouldn't be complete without this man....
Jaycee- From New York City, New York weighing 271 pounds...THE DAMNED...YANKEE!!!
(YANKEE JUMPS ON THE APRON AND GETS IN THE RING FINDING A TURNBUCKLE HE CLIMBS IT AS THE FLASHES GO OFF IN HIS HONOUR. HE DROPS DOWN AND STANDS IN ONE CORNER OF THE RAFTER PLATFORM SMILING AND THE STONED FACED NALDO AND PEACEMAKER.)
Snoop: God does he have to embellish this intro so much.
Scoop: The man can't help being the worlds hero in a fight.
HB: He ain't my hero!
(BEAR GETS UP AND GIVES YANKEE A MIDDLE FINGER. YANKEE GETS OUT OF THE RING AND SMACKS HIM ONE IN THE FACE! MAKER GETS OUT OF THE RING AND GETS IN YANKEE'S FACE AND PUSHES HIM, YANKEE RETURNS THE FAVOUR THEY ABOUT TO PUNCH EACH OTHER WHEN...)
*PIMP IN 2 THE MAX!!!*
(PIMP IN SLIDES OUT ONTO THE T.F.W.F. STAGE TO A HUGE OVATION. HE HAS THE T.F.W.F. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP ON HIS SHOULDER. HE HAS HIS EYES ON ALL THREE MEN, HE STANDS AND PLACES THE T.F.W.F. HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE OVER HIS CROTCH AND GIVES THREE PELVIC THRUSTS AS HEART SHAPED PYROS EXPLODE AROUND HIM IN SYNC. THE CROWD IS DEAFENING AS HE STRUTS TO THE RING AND GETS IN THE RING.)
Jaycee- From Chicago, Illinois weighing 290 pounds the T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Champion...PIMP IN!!!
Scoop: Listen to Australia roar, its the T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Champion and this is the greatest match we will ever ever see...
HB: Kick their asses Maker!
Pimp In gets in the ring and stands across from Naldo, Maker and Yankee stand across from each other. No man moves as the crowd scream in cheers and the rafter is raised above the ring...
Maker then flies across and nails Yankee with a big right hand and a four man brawl erupts to the cheers from the crowd. Naldo knocks Maker back with a right hand and attempts to sphere him off the rafter, but misses and almost goes tumbling off himself, Maker then nails a german suplex on Naldo taking him hard onto the rafter board which squeaks. Pimp Ina dn yankee trade rights and lefts until Yankee hits two big rights before ddt'ing Pimp In onto the rafter top, he goes to try and roll him off, but Maker drop kicks him and staggers Yankee to the edge, he charges Yankee, who backbody drops him almost off the edge as Maker hangs on barely. Yankee then turns and delivers a devastating belly to belly sending Maker more safely on the rafter despite the pain factor. Pimp In then gets to his feet and is cold clocked by a Naldo right hand to the jaw, Naldo staggers the champ with uppercuts before scoring an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline as the rafter once again shakes at the impact. Yankee grabs Maker one the otherside of the ring and drags him into the centre dropping a series of knees to the head of Maker before repetably ramming his head into the rafter floor to a huge ovation, Yankee pulls Maker's face to him smiles and then continues the assault before Naldo's running clothesline takes Yankee down hard. Naldo grabs Maker and executes a perfect sit-down powerbomb on Maker, he pulls him back up and Maker lowblows Naldo scoring a quick ddt. All four men are momentarily down before Pimp In gets to his knees he crawls over to Naldo and puts him in a figure four on the floor with some great technical skill the crowd love it as Naldo writhes in some pain. Yankee is next to get up and looks at Pimp In and Naldo he charges them and drops a vicious leg drop across Naldo's throat to another huge roar as Pimp In pulls his upper body into a sitting position Yankee stomps him hard in the chest to knock him back down, Maker grabs Yankee from behind ina full nelson, but Yankee breaks the hold and grabs Maker in a reverse hammerlock, Maker tries to take Ynakee down, but Yankee again blocks the move and scores a full nelson poowerbomb taking Maker to the ground, the crowd roar as Yankee gets to his feet and grabs Peacemaker and tries to throw him off, Maker blocks the move and reverses Yankee into a wonderfully executed russian legsweep. Maker tries to catch a breather, but Naldo is on the scene stamping on his face only to then find himself a victim of Pimp in grabbing him in a cross face chokehold.
Scoop: No man seems to be getting an advantage here they are just our moving each other. Lots of hatred and no alliances formed for the time being.
HB: Where you expecting them to be pals you dopey ass I might give you the sack now.
Scoop: My contract is not debatable by the CEO Bear, I am under contract with the 'I organization'.
Scoop: Yes, unlike you I can't be sacked by a CEO.
Snoop: Shut up Scoop, I am sorry Mr. Bear he is so inconsiderate.
On the rafter the action continues to sway back and forth, finally Naldo seems to gain some sort of graps on the situation when he grabs Yankee from behind and nails a lethal backwards ddt. As Maker tries to grab Naldo, Naldo boots him in the midesction looking for the 'power of naldo', but has to duck a Pimp In clothesline scoring a backbody drop on him and quickly delivering an x-factor in a stunning series of skill. As Yankee and Maker regather their senses Naldo walks over to Pimp In and picks up the champ to his feet and hits a belly to back suplex on Pimp In. Wlaking over to the champ and feeling the crowd heat Naldo delivers a series of quick elbows. He spies something above him and starts to make his way over to one of the chains suspending the rafter. He starts to climb the chain!!!
Scoop: Oh my God he is crazy.
HB: So can the CEO grant an act to have a man locked away for being insane?
Snoop: I am not sure sir.
Scoop: Will you stop brown nosing Snoop and watch this Naldo is making his way onto the rafter beams. My God this is a crazy height one wrong move and he'll drop to his death.
Naldo walks the beams with much balance and grace as he eyes his target a fallen Pimp In. Raising his hands above his head he looks to drop a devastating splash, but something has caught his attention Maker is no on his feet and smiling at Naldo. Naldo walks back over to where Maker is standing and looks to jump off there, Maker beckons him, as the crowd suddenly start to roar The Damned Yankee is now climbing an opposite suspending chain to get to Naldo. Naldo starts to walk over cautiously to where Yankee will pull himself onto ready to pounce, but now Maker is making his way onto the the other chain!!! Naldo seems caught which ever one he goes for he will leave the other, so he takes one look at Pimp In from now a seemingly impossible jump and leaps off looking to land a elbow drop, but Pimp In moves at the last second and Naldo goes crashing down causing a massive splinter in the wood! Wood shatters everywhere as a crack is now visible to the cheering fans.
Scoop: Naldo has just broke the rafter! Its cracking, its cracking!
Snoop: Help me they might fall on me!
HB: Damn it Maker get up there faster!
As Maker and Yankee enter a foot race to the top of the chains to the beams, Pimp In slowly gathers his senses below on the rafter and gets to his feet he takes a cautious step as more cracking is heard. He grabs Naldo and pulls him to his feet and delivers a series of right hands the crowd seem to be none stop cheering as a classic feud is relived on the now cracking rafter. On the beams Maker finally makes it to the top and looks to go after Yankee, but Yankee is already there and starts making his way towards Maker as both men stare across at each other no less than 3 feet, they can't seemingly do much accept talk trash, that's until Yankee leaps cross and nails Maker with a spear!!! The crowd gasp and cheer as Maker goes tumbling off the top of the beam and falls fifteen feet into the rafter below, Yankee manages to grab his free hand onto the beam and hang on as the chants of 'DAMNED ONE' fill the T.F.W.F. arena, Yankee even utters a wicked smile. The rafter however isn't as cheerful as it is now seemingly broken in half only a final move will seal its fate. Pimp In now cautiously moves away from Naldo on the rafter as any sudden moves will surely seal its fate he looks up at Yankee who waves at him!!! Yankee hoists himself onto the beam, Pimp In violently shakes his head as the Yankee nods and smiles wider! Yankee steadies himself and looks over at Peacemaker who is still down after taking a hell of a fall. Yankee flies off the top in a move which will be seen on the internet time and time again and delivers a crushing blow to Maker with an elbow, the rafter breaks. Naldo and Maker unprepared immediately drop off the board and collectively hit the floor with a gut wrenching thud. Pimp In has hold off one of the chains and Yankee is holding onto whats remaining of the board with one hand. Pimp In with the advantage tries to put boots into Yankee's head, but Yankee absorbs them and using his tremendous upper body strength pulls himself up the board and draps the bottom of the chain. Huggsy Bear has got up from his seat and he, X and Legend are now checking on Maker who seems to be convulsing slightly on the floor, Naldo to his credit had his fall broken by a fan...poor fan. Yankee continues to pull himself up the chair until he has hold of one of Pimp In's legs...Pimp In's face is a picture of pain as he tries to substain his own body weight plus the Damned Yankee's!
Scoop: One of these men is going to have to take the first fall, but what happens if they both well...fall.
Snoop: Last man to hit the floor takes the fall, God Pez has more knowledge than you!
Yankee is now firmly on Pimp In's back and is holding him around the neck trying to choke him loose, Pimp In gasps for air and releases one hand from the chain and claws at Yankee, but Yankee darts the clawing hand and pulls harder on Pimp In's throat, Pimp In releases his second hand and in a flash Yankee grabs a free hand onto the chain, Pimp In falls to the floor as Yankee hangs on and claims the first fall.
Snoop: Now how the hell is he going to get down!...Oh shit he's climbing the chain!
Scoop: Jesus no Yankee, Jesus no!
Yankee steadies himself over the concussed Maker to the roar of the crowd, no fear can be seen on the Damned ones face as he prepares to basically kill himself. Huggsy Bear is dancing around like a frantic mad man as Legend and X try to lift Maker away, but can't as they are distracted by Yankee beckoning them, Yankee then throws himself off in a diver like fashion does a complete 360 degree fall before crashing on Maker with a splash!!! The crowd flashes somewhat distort the image for this once in a life time move as Yankee flies onto Maker....
2 minutes have passed as the replays of Yankee's moves are shown over and over and no life from any of the four stars is seen, Bear is uncontrollable at ringside trying to direct EMTs left right and centre. Pimp In gets to his feet and to a massive roar staggers over towards Bear like a village drunk. He grabs Bear spins him round and knocks him down with a forearm, he reaches in the crowd and drags Naldo out of it and pulls him towards the ring placing him under the ropes, Pimp In staggers over to Yankee who has been pulled off of Maker by the EMTS. His chest seems somewhat deformed if to say broken ribs, his Agnostic Front shirt covered in blood and his arm seems swollen. Pimp In drags Yankee to the ring and places him in there the final piece to the puzzle is Maker, he has stopped convulsing, but his mouth is a ring of crimson red, Pimp In drags him over and places him in the ring as well staggering he calls for the bell of the second fall, he mounts the top turnbuckle holding his famous 'injured' back which probably is now more injured than its ever been. He looks over at Naldo and steadies himself and performs a moonsault a heafty version for an injured 290 pound wrestler , to a massive crowd pop, Pimp In lays down if injured further as the ringcrew engulf the ropes with flames.
Scoop: We have got to stop this match someone get some authority figures down here.
Snoop: We did have an authority figure, but Pimp In just knocked him out!!!
Scoop: This is the only time I wished we could see the Management
Snoop: What I like to see him everyday in fact what is Christmas without the Management.
All four men are unconscious as the ropes flame. The first to get up is Peacemaker??? Even the crowd applaud the most hated individual for his heart...black as it is. Peacemaker staggers over to the Damned Yankee and grabs his swolen arm and immediately drops in a fujiarma armbar. Yankee suddenly awakens with a burst of pain in his arm and starts to tap with obvuiously no tap outs there seems little point. Naldo suddenly springs to life, his peeling warriro face paint replaced by bodily blood paint, he stomps on Yankee's head as the Damned one screams in agony. Naldo turns around and is met...by a Pimp In right hand! Pimp In steadies himself as he and Naldo trade blows, Naldo tries to send Pimp In into the ropes, but Pimp In blocks the move and counters with a sidewalk slam on Naldo. Pimp In takes a short run up before driving a double fist into Naldo's forehead, Maker gets to his feet and grabs Pimp In from the behind and spins him around into a 'silencer'! The crowd boo as Maker has scored the first finishing move of the match, he drags Pimp In towards one of the flaming ropes, but is met by Naldo who scores a right hand to his face followed by a spear back the other way, Naldo jumps on Maker and thumps a paten Naldo fist of fury into his face, but now Yankee is up and grabs Naldo by the hair pulling him to his feet before delivering a terribly effective jawbreaker stunning Naldo before hitting a raising clothesline taking out Naldo. Yankee grabs Maker to his feet and goes for a dtt, but Maker reverses it into a backbody drop. Maker staggers over to Yankee and goes for another armbar, but Yankee grabs him into a small package. Maker gets out and looks out to the crowd and then stomps on Yankee's arm three times to a host of boos. He then gets Naldo to his feet and hits two stiff european uppercuts before tossing Naldo towards the ropes. Peacemaker charges Naldo who then leap frogs him, Maker stops himself from almost crashing head into the ropes. Naldo swings a spinning martial arts kick to the head, but Maker ducks catches Naldo in a bear hug before tossing him over his shoulder into the burning ropes and to the outside! Naldo has been eliminated by Peacemaker and like a sacrificial lamb to the lions, Legend and X jump on Naldo with beatings. Maker turns around and is hit by a Pimp In right hand and a left as the crowd get into it.
Scoop: Look at those bastards on the outside mugging Naldo, don't get me wrong Naldo is a bastard, but this is ridiculous.
Snoop: Hey, they are security...I mean I don't know even if what they are doing is wrong!
Scoop: Divided loyalties again?
Snoop: (sob) Yes...
Pimp In steadies Maker for a big right, but Maker sticks a thumb in his eye and delivers a jawbreaker followed by a drop kick to the knees of Pimp In. Maker then grabs him from the floor and hoists him in a falcon arrow to a massive boo from the crowd. Yankee is now up as well and Maker gets over to him and delivers a right hand and a uppercut followed strictly by a kick to the gut and a snapmare into a sleeper, perfectly executed set ups for a sleeper. Yankee tries to fight the hold, but he is still clearly not recovered from earlier fall. Pimp In is cheered on from the crowd to get up he flings himself onto the two landing rights on Maker and lefts to an ecstatic crowd. Pimp In pulls Maker to his feet and scores a ddt sending him straight back down again, Pimp In drops and elbow, but Yankee grabs Pimp In from nowhere and executes a 'damned slam' the crowd explode in more frenzies as Yankee pulls Pimp In to his feet and sends him into the ropes, Pimp In reverses the move and sends Yankee to the ropes, Yankee haults himself and then grabs Pimp In in a bear hug and goes for a belly to belly, but Pimp In reverses it into a throw and sends Yankee over the top ropes into a fiery mess, Pimp In turns around and is met by a Maker superkick he staggers back near the ropes as Maker goes for a 'silencer', but Pimp In stops it and catches Maker in a 'complete chaos' sending him crashing through the ropes to claim the second fall and a massive pop from the crowd. The ring crew quickly extinguish the ropes and prepare for the third fall a submission fall, Pimp In slides to the outside and grabs the Damned Yankee and tosses him back in the ring mounting the top rope he looks to score a move, but Naldo pushes him off and jumps up there himself hitting a five star frog splash onto Pimp In he goes for a cover, only to be informed by the ref that it's a submission match as the crowd laugh they quickly cheer as Yankee corners Naldo down with a clothesline, Yankee beats Naldo around the head, Maker then tries to get Naldo with a right hand, but Yankee spins on him and floors Maker with one as well. Yankee bounds off the ropes and hits a forearm picking Maker up he then hits a fallaway slam on Maker. Maker staggers to his feet and Yankee takes him down with a clothesline before booting Naldo in the chest and to a huge pop hits the 'power of naldo' on Naldo! Yankee grabs Naldo's legs and wraps him in a figure four leg lock wrenching back the pain. Maker seeing the move jumps on Naldo and Yankee to break it up, but Yankee nails him with a lowblow and goes for a 'silencer' to add insult, but Naldo stops him and clotheslines him both men then mug Yankee with kicks to the face and gut as he lays on the floor. Pimp In gets to his feet and delivers a double running clothesline to them both, he grabs Maker's legs and sets him upo for a sharpshooter, but Naldo in desperation breaks the hold and tries to ddt Pimp In only to suffer a backbody drop as Pimp In attaches a sharp shooter to him!
Scoop: Pimp In has the sharpshooter locked in his paten finish move!
Scoop: Bear is up on the apron.
Huggsy Bear tries to get the ref's attention as he does, Naldo taps out, Pimp In hearing the tap can't believe the ref hasn't awarded the fall to him and gets in his face, Maker then grabs Pimp In from behind and executes a backbreaker on him going for the 'figure x'! Pimp In is locked in and is in trouble, Naldo seeing this grabs for Yankee and scores a 'power of naldo' and attaches a lion tamer on Yankee! Both Naldo and Maker stare at each other as they wrench back the moves on the faces as the fans cheer their hero's on chanting 'Pimp In! Yankee!' Pimp In listening to the crowd starts to turn Peacemaker over, Yankee grabs for the ropes, but can't reach them as Naldo pulls him further away, Maker tries desperately to hang on, but Pimp In reverses his hold and puts the pressure on Peacemaker. Yankee then beats the mat a second later Maker does the same as the referee awards the fall to Naldo. Naldo releases his grip and the bell sounds for a fourth fall. Naldo grabs Yankee and goes for a 'power of naldo', but Yankee blocks the move and executes a 'damned slam' to a roar from the crowd he goes for a cover, but Pimp In pulls him off of Naldo and the two men trade blows on the outside. Maker gets to his feet and signals to Bear who tosses him a chair, he slams it on the forehead of Naldo and walks over to the top rope and signals for an elbow drop onto the chair...
*WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEND*
The crowd all turn to the apron as the Management walks out onto the stage with Jimmy Simpson, Huggsy Bear's jaw drops as he looks on Maker gets down off the top rope and looks as well as the Management walks to ringside to a semi pop from the crowd.
Scoop: The CEO of the T.F.W.F. is here! The Management found by Jimmy Simpson in the outback!
Bear rushes the Management and the Management drops him with a right hand followed by a 'firm finish' onto the ramp he carries on walking as X and Legend run for him, all of a sudden Torch and Horror appear from the sides and get in a tussle with X and Legend as the Management walks into the ring and gets in the face of Maker, The Management extends his right hand if to slap Maker, but Maker grabs him and pulls him straight into a 'silencer' knocking the CEO to the floor. He grabs the chair and places the Management in the corner of the ringpost and tosses the chair scoring the 'mind eraser' on the CEO!
Scoop: Listen to that impact a minderaser on the T.F.W.F. CEO and it was born tonight!
Snoop: I better go check on the Management.
Pimp In and Yankee continue brawling on the outside, but then get tangled up with X/ Legend and Horror/Torch. Pimp In lays rights and lefts into Torch and Horror as Yankee does the same to X and Legend. In the ring Maker picks up the chair dented on the Management's head and admires it he tosses it aside and looks at Chad he points to the fact Chad isn't helping Legend and X, Chad doesn't move, Maker says to Chad to grab a chair, Chad grabs one. Maker pulls Naldo to his feet and holds him up for Chad to slam over the head with a chair, Yankee and Pimp In break free of their captives and run down the ramp...Chad raises the chair...Pimp In grabs at Maker's leg...Maker looks down and releases Naldo...Chad....SMACK...nails Maker in the head with the chair!!!
Scoop: Chad just nailed Maker with a chair! Chad just nailed Maker with a chair!
Scoop: Pimp In and Yankee are trying to get in the ring, but Chad is fighting them off with the chair, he just smacked Pimp In with it he is now going for Yankee...wait a minute...wait just a darn minute Naldo is moving...he's thrown his arm over Peacemaker...one, two three! Naldo wins, Naldo has just won the T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Championship.
Chad turns around and sees Naldo over Peacemaker, his face expressionless as the world seems to all stop for one moment to take in what has just happened. Chad looks at his chair and drops it on the floor, he gets out of the ring and walks away up the ramp. Naldo gets to his feet and is presented with the T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Championship, he looks out to the crowd who are still in shock and raises the belt. Yankee gets in the ring and looks at what has happened, Maker and Pimp In lie unconscious in and out of the ring respectively. The Management bloodied from the minderaser lays as well, Bear dead on the ramp. Yankee looks at Naldo and smiles...he grabs Naldo and DAMNED SLAM. DAMNED SLAM!!!
Scoop: Yankee just damned slammed the T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Champion!
Yankee grabs his ribs and pulls Pimp In into the ring, as well he lays the Management, Naldo, Pimp In and Peacemaker next too each other and satnds over them toasting a beer to the crowd he holds up the T.F.W.F. Heavyweight title and drops it on Naldo. Celebrating to the crowd as 'Agnostic Font' plays out the Damned Yankee walks out of the arena leaving a speechless Scoop and Snoop at ringside.
Winner by reaching two falls first and NEW T.F.W.F. Heavyweight Champion: Naldo