DATE : Mon
29th October 2001Monday Mayhem-from Houston, Texas
[FLASHBACK: THE SCENE SHOWS AUTUMN ANNIHILATION 2 AS PIMP IN KICKS OUT AFTER 3 POWER OF NALDOS ONLY TO USE NALDO’S FINISHER ON HIM AND WIN THE MATCH BECOMING 5 TIME T.F.W.F. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.]
**MONDAY MAYHEM- HARDCORE NIGHTS PLAYS**
(THE CROWD EXPLODES AS THE PYROS ARE ALL AROUND THEM. SIGNS SAY ‘THIS FAN IS IN EXCLUSION AS WELL’, ‘PIMP ME 5 TIMES’ AND ‘SHREIK LIKES THE TATSE OF MAGNUMS’. THE SHOT GOES TO MAHONEY MCMILLAN STANDING WITH PEZ.)
MM: Evening everyone and welcome to Mayhem in Houston, Texas sitting beside me my new broadcast college Pez. Pez welcome.
PEZ: Hello there, your much smaller in real life.
MM: Ummm, ok. Anyway tonight lots of debuts in competitions finished off with former Intercontinental Champion, Torch facing the current European and Intercontinental Champion, Chad. This is only for the European Championship mind.
PEZ: You know Chad has two belts to hold his pants up.
MM: I am aware…
**’WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS’- BY QUEEN PLAYS**
(THE MANAGEMENT EMERGES TO A CHORUS OF BOOS. HE GRABS A MIC AND WALKS TO THE RING.)
MG- Shut the hell up you dirty set of stink pots!
(CROWD HEAT.)
MG- Now I am here to talk about a few things firstly that low life scum Huggsy Bear. Bear you think you can fire Colleen and the Assistant, well there are hear tonight to mark a protest a protest that will have action on Slam when Huggsy Bear emerging from his second ‘Management hospital visit’ will be FIRMLY FINISHED. As for my Firm-Court Huggsy Bear…Naldo…Jimmy Simpson…Mr. Showtime and Crème de la Crème will not turn their back on me they will benefit from the introduction of a brand new CEO on Slam a CEO who will destroy all competition.
(THE ASSISTANT AND COLLEEN ARE SHOWN ON THE TOTALLY ACTION TRON BEING ESCORTED FROM THE BUILDING. THE CROWD SCREAM IN DELIGHT AS THE MANAGEMENT GOES CRAZY AND RUNS BACKSTAGE.)
Old School vs Razer
**21 SECONDS- SO SOLID CREW HITS THE SPEAKERS.**
(RAZER WALKS OUT TO A HALF DECENT POP. HE IS WEARING A T-SHIRT WITH A PICTURE OF A JAGUAR ON IT. HE THRUSTS HIS FISTS IN THE AIR AND WALKS INTO THE RING LIMBERING UP FOR THE CONTEST.)
(OLD SCHOOL WALKS ONTO THE RAMP TO PRETTY DECENT HEAT FOR HIS DEBUT. HE LOOKS AT THE CROWD AND STARTS TALKING SHIT TO THEM, BUT RAZER RUNS OUT AFTER HIM...)
MM: This should be a pretty interesting affair.
PEZ: I had an interesting affair once. My dog wasn’t too pleased.
Old School gets a chop block on Razer. Razer hits the mat hard. Razer clutches his back as Old School poses for the fans. Razer gets back to his feet and goes for a clothesline on Old School, but OS ducks and scores with a few knife edge chops. Razer staggers back and is met with a forearm from Old School. Razer gets back up and nails a huge clothesline which sends Old School crashing to the mat.
MM: What a Clothesline!
PEZ: My Mom hangs my dirty underwear on a clothesline.
Razer locks in an STF on Old School, who screams and reaches for the ropes. Old School grabs the bottom rope and Razer releases the hold. Razer pulls Old School up and whips him to the ropes. Old School bounces back and slides under Razers legs. Old School locks in a sleeper on Razer. Old School applies pressure, and Razer goes to one knee. The Referee checks Razers arm... it drops. He checks it again... it goes down again. The ref checks one more time... Razer keeps his arm up! Old School is in disbelief!
MM: I thought the match was over there.
Razer deals Old School a few swift elbows to the gut and whips him to the ropes, only to get knocked back down to the mat. Old School waits for Razer to get up. Razer climbs back to his feet and gets set up for Schools Out. Razer deals OS a swift elbow to the head and nails a snap suplex and locks in an armbar on Old School. Old School screams and Razer releases the hold. Razer signals for the Jaguar, but Old School kicks Razer away and staggers back up. Razer nails a shot to the jaw, but Old School does the classic Hogan no sale.
MM: He’s hulking up!
Old School hulks up, much to the crowd disapproval. Razer laughs and floor him with a kick to the back of the leg. Razer locks in the Jaguar, but Old School grabs the bottom rope. The Referee forces Razer to release the hold. Old School pulls himself up by the ropes as Razer goes for a clothesline, but Old School ducks, spins Razer around and hits him with the Schools Out and hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!
Winner Via Pinfall: Old School
MM: An interesting affair and Old School certainly is Old School.
PEZ: Like his name! Everyone is like their name!
MM: Do you turn into a candy dispensing gadget?
PEZ: I crap a lot of candy in the toilets.
MM: More information than I needed to know let’s go backstage to Sniff…Sniff.
(SNIFF IS STANDING WITH MICHAEL POUNDS AND PROTÉGÉ TWO NEW WRESTLERS IN THE T.F.W.F..)
Sniff- Gentlemen this week saw you form this stable known as Exclusion under Tiger Young you claim not to be PC, can you expand.
Protégé- I had a crack problem a year back.
Sniff- Ummm…
MP- But the cracking will be the cracking of beers and champagne, as this week we become the T.F.W.F. Tag Team Champions. PC we are not Tag Team Champions we will be, you can’t keep societies Exclusion down and out forever.
Sniff- Pounds and Protégé will they be successful on Slam? We don’t know back to you guys.
The Method/Compton Crew vs Twist/Flint Fireforge/Chris Pufting
**GHETTO LIFE EXPLODES THROUGH THE SPEAKERS**
(THE METHOD LEADS OUT THE COMPTON CREW AS THE CROWD GO BALLISTIC, METHOD IS LAYING DOWN HIS LATEST RHYMES FOR THE CROWD WHO CLAP ALONG AND DANCE TO IT. THE CREW JUMP ON THE APRON AND THRUST METHOD INTO THE AIR AS HE SCREAMS DOWN THE MIC. THE THREE MEN EXCHANGE HIGH FIVES AND PREPARE FOR BATTLE.)
Almost immediately with no music Twist, Flint and Chris run the ring and jump in and start pounding rights into the Crew and Meth. Meth goes on the offensive with a vicious clothesline which sends Twist to the outside and then drop kicks Pufting into a Punkass clothesline from hell. Homeboy scores a drop kick sending Flint to the outside. Method looks over to mother who is tending to her baby boy he smiles his gold teeth visible and signals to the Crew. The crowd go wild as Punkass grabs mother and drags her into the ring as Homeboy signals for the 'smash and grab' mother is set up, but Flint nails Punkass with a chop block to save mother, as Flint tries to save mother who is fainting, but Homeboy scores a crossbody splash onto him. Method starts pounding rights in Pufting as he is tossed into the ring and Crew clear house of the Flint and Pufting team. Method grabs Twist and nails a neckbreaker on him and goes for a quick cover, but mother grabs Method's leg and pulls him out she slaps him around the face and starts to berate him. Method takes one look at her and rips her dress off!!!!
MM: Method just pulled mother's dress off! She's so embarrassed!
PEZ: That's sexual harassment! To me! Yuck look at those wrinkles!
Pufting at the site of a half naked lady starts to get a look on his eyes, but Flint is raging mad and starts to cover mother up screaming at everyone to stop laughing. Twist gets to the outside and tries to stop Pufting from jumping mother sexually and Flint from completely losing his marbles. The Crew start dancing in the ring before Homeboy vaults himself onto Flint and mother for another great pop. Method grabs a microphone and starts rapping about how mother is a ho and dancing around to the pure entertainment of the crowd, finally Flint grabs mother and carries her backstage. Pufting tries to go after her, but Punkass slams a right hand into his forehead and throws him into the ring. Pufting is nailed with repeated rights and lefts by Homeboy. Homeboy sends him into the ropes and drops him with a spine buster. Homeboy makes the tag to Method who vaults himself onto Pufting for a two count, he sends him into the ropes and scores a stunning drop kick off the rebound into the apron he flies in with a hurricana sending Pufting hard to the mat. Method then flies over and nails Twist with a double axe handle sending him crashing into the guard rail. Pufting is on his feet and suplexes Method hard to the canvass from the behind, Pufting jumps on the second turnbuckle and goes for a knee drop, but Method rolls away and jumps to his corner tagging back in Punkass. All of a sudden Flint emerges from the back with a steel chair in his hand? He grabs the ref and throws him to one side and plants three separate chair shots to the heads of the Crew and Method!!!
MM: Good God! Flint has lost it again!
PEZ: I like him, he reminds me of me...wait...no you.
The ref signals for the bell as Pufting drags the kicking and psycho Flint backstage, Twist jumps on the apron ready for a fight, but with everyone down or gone he is just laughed at, all of a sudden the rafters shake and Phantasm flies from nowhere with a 'missle drop kick' to the face of Twist the crowd explode as Phantasm mounts the turnbuckle, and celebrates with the T.F.W.F. Light-Heavyweight Championship.
Winners via DQ: The Method and Compton Crew
MM: What a match, but I think we have to look at what Phantasm did.
PEZ: Actually he didn’t wrestle in the match.
MM: Yeah, but that breathtaking…
PEZ: I use mints for my breath.
(T.F.W.F. GOES TO COMMERCIALS.)
Krystian Southern Justice vs Mike Mission
**MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 2 THEME- LIMP BIZKIT BLASTS OUT **
(MIKE MISSION MAKES HIS WAY TO THE RING. HE CHECKS UNDER THE RING AND EXAMINES THE TURNBUCKLES CAREFULLY.)
MM: Pez, do you have any idea what the heck he’s doing?
PEZ: He’s looking for landmines and C4 explosives.
MM: Your both idiots.
PEZ: No, your the idiots! Can’t you see? Theres a conspiracy going on, and it stretches to the highest powers in the land!
MM: The White House?
PEZ: No, the Cable Companies.
MM: OK...
**PAPERCUT- LINKIN PARK HITS THE SPEAKERS **
(KRYSTIAN SOUTHERN JUSTICE CHARGES OUT AND STARTS POUNDING AWAY AT MISSION.)
MM: KSJ, wasting no time in this match.
PEZ: He’s a fool! There might be some Mines that Mike hasn’t found yet! There might be one under our announce desk!
Pez starts crawling around under the announce desk as Mission and KSJ trade blows. KSJ falls down and Mike stomps on him. Mission goes under the ring.
MM: Checking for Land Mines again?
Pez comes out from under the desk.
PEZ: Probably. But you’ll be happy to know this desk is clean.
Mike comes out from under the ring with a chair. He tosses it to KSJ, who catches it. Mike superkicks the chair into the face of KSJ. KSJ goes down and Mike climbs into the ring and demands the referee start counting KSJ out. The Referee gets to four before KSJ climbs into the ring. The Bell Rings and KSJ hits with a leg sweep on Mission. Mission crashes to the mat and KSJ nails a standing moonsault on Mission. KSJ deals Mission a devastating kick to the ribs and Mike rolls around in agony.
MM: Mikes ribs could be broken from that one!
PEZ: Who will make the world safe now?
KSJ makes an arrogant cover... 1... 2... Mike kicks out! Krystian is in shock! KSJ goes for a vertical suplex, but Mission reverses it into one of his own. KSJ staggers back up and walks right into the MikeMission. Mike covers... 1... 2... 3!
WINNER VIA PINFALL: MIKE MISSION
MM: Mike Mission seems paranoid to me…
PEZ: I would be he taught James Bond how to be a secret agent.
MM: Who told you that?
PEZ: Mike Mission.
MM: Figures…
PEZ: He also was in Golden Eye.
MM: The movie?
PEZ: No a Chinese restaurant around the corner.
Horror vs Just A Fan
**SIC- SLIPKNOT HITS THE SPEAKERS **
(HORROR WALKS OUT TO A MIXED CROWD REACTION.)
**MY OWN WORST ENEMY- LIT HITS THE SPEAKERS **
(MARK ‘JUST A FAN’ BARTON MAKES HIS WAY TO THE RING.)
The two tie up. Barton goes for a suplex, but can’t lift Horror. Horror nails a huge suplex of his own and covers... 1... 2... 3!
YOUR WINNER VIA PINFALL: HORROR
HORROR- See how easy that was? That is what The Fear Machine is capable of. And where can someone with that kind of power make allies with an equal level of power? I can think of but one place. And that place is... REZERECTION!!!
MM: Horror is part of rezerection???
PEZ: I heard a man once came back from the dead.
MM: You mean Jesus?
PEZ: No John Travolta, his career was dead.
MM: Well despite that Phantasm after that move earlier now faces Hardcore Legend in a great contest.
Phantasm vs Hardcore Legend
*HE COME D PAIN- T.F.W.F ALBUM HITS THE SPEAKERS *
(HARDCORE LEGEND MAKES HIS WAY DOWN TO A CHORUS OF CROWD BOOS. PHANTASM FOLLOWS.)
MM: This is set to be one hell of a match!
PEZ: I found a match this morning. I nearly burnt my hand.
Legend opens up with a few stiff shots to the jaw of Phantasm and a drop toe hold. Phantasm springs back up and delivers a swift dropkick to Legend. Legend staggers back and uses the ropes for support, but is clotheslined over by Phantasm. Phantasm climbs the turnbuckle and nails Legend with a flying Hurracanrana. Legend and Phantasm are both breathing heavily on the outside.
MM: That one took its toll on Phantasm and Hardcore Legend.
PEZ: I’m Hardcore you know.
MM: Right Pez. Of Course you are.
Phantasm staggers back up and rolls Legend onto the announce desk. Legend is dazed as Phantasm leaps on the apron and mounts the turnbuckle to a huge pop. Phantasm leaps off with a shooting star press, but Legend rolls off the desk and Phantasm crashes through.
PEZ: OUR DESK!!!
MM: How can you be worried about the desk? Phantasm is seriously hurt here!
PEZ: Yeah, but I had Candy under there...
Legend slowly regains a vertical base and looks at Phantasm, who is now bleeding from a wide cut in his forehead. Legend smiles sadistically and starts stomping on the forehead of Phantasm. Phantasm screams in pain and grabs the foot of Legend and scores with a dragon screw takedown. Phantasm crawls over to the ring apron and pulls himself up into the ring. Legend manages to do the same. The two start trading blows in the ring.
MM: Nobody is planning on giving up anytime soon...
Legend drops to the floor and Phantasm looks on. Phantasm climbs the turnbuckle and signals for the Apparition, but from the crowd comes Twist with a lead pipe! Twist vaults the barrier, leaps onto the apron and slams the pipe across the back of Phantasm. Phantasm falls off the turnbuckle and into the ring, where Legend drags an arm across Phantasm... 1... 2... 3!
YOUR WINNER VIA PINFALL: HARDCORE LEGEND
MM: Twist just cost the Lost Soul that match.
PEZ: You lost a sole too? Those things drop off shoes way too easily.
Twist leaps into the ring and starts slamming the lead pipe down on Phantasm. Legend starts stomping on Phantasm too.
MM: This is totally uncalled for... wait! Thats...
The Method sprints down the isle with a lead pipe of his own! Method slides in and slams the pipe into the skull of Twist, and then sends it crashing down on Legends head! Twist and Legend make a hasty retreat as Method helps Phantasm up. The two look on as...
(T.F.W.F. GOES TO COMMERCIALS.)
(THE T.F.W.F. COMES BACK WITH THE ULTIMATE SCALLY, CHAD AND TWIST SAT IN THE HAVEN LOCKER ROOM.)
US- Bloody marvelous look at all this gold.
TWIST- I am going to get that little shit Method and Phantasm too.
CHAD- Chad says that we should just enjoy the moment boys and look at all this gold. Chad also plans to look at Torch’s bloody carcass tonight.
US- Amen!
TWIST- Hahaha.
(X BURSTS IN THE LOCKER ROOM.)
X- What's all this laughing about?
US- We are laughing cause at Annihilation we won gold after gold after gold!
TWIST- Yeah!
X- And what about Maker?
CHAD- Chad thinks Maker fucked up!
X- Chad better realise his place in this stable our boss, our crazy ass boss is livid and he might just snap on you.
CHAD- Maybe Chad will snap on him!
(CHAD GETS IN X’S FACE AND THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER. MAKER COMES IN.)
PM- What the hell is this!
CHAD- Chad is saying nothing.
PM- Is this a wake or a party.
X- But…
PM- Go get ready for your match X, these boys need to celebrate, we cleaned up at Annihilation and the fun is just beginning.
TWIST- Yeah X, go prepare for your match!
(X SLAMS THE DOOR AS MAKER PRODUCES SOME CHAMPAGNE FOR THE ANNIHILATION WINNERS.)
MM: Maker has lost it! He is celebrating now!
PEZ: He is crazy kind of like you.
MM: Me crazy? Is that not the pot calling the kettle black?
PEZ: Pots and kettles can’t talk.
Grunt vs X
*SMOOTH CRIMINAL- ALIEN ANT FARM HITS THE SPEAKERS *
(THE CROWD INSTINCTIVELY BOOS AS X MAKES HIS WAY OUT, BUT THE CHORUS OFF BOOS CHANGE TO A MIXED REACTION AS KEVIN DANCES OUT ALONGSIDE X!)
MM: Kevin is with X???
PEZ: They look just like each other.
MM: How can they? One is a chimp, the other is a person, you moron!
PEZ: Humans evolved into Monkeys you know.
(GRUNT MAKES HIS WAY TO THE RING, STARING INTENTLY AT KEVIN AS HE CLIMBS IN. THE BELL RINGS.)
X opens up with a double axehandle smash to the back of Grunt. Grunt hits the floor hard. X gets a leglock applied, but Grunt grabs the ropes. X releases the hold and places Grunts leg on the ropes. X leaps onto Grunts leg. Grunt howls in pain. X pulls Grunt into the center of the ring and signals for the figure X, but Grunt boots X away and gets back up. X staggers back around and walks straight into a big boot. X hits the mat hard. Grunt pulls X up by the hair and whips him to the ropes. X bounces back and slides under the legs of Grunt and scores with a chop block to Grunt.
MM: X working away at the leg of Grunt.
X stomps away at the leg of Grunt and locks in a boston crab. Grunt screams and reaches for the ropes. Grunt starts crawling to the ropes, pulling X with him. Grunt grabs the ropes and X is forced to release the hold. X starts stomping away at Grunt. X turns and checks on Kevin, as Grunt pulls himself back up with help from the ropes. X turns back round and walks straight into the One Shot One Kill! But X kicks Grunt between the legs before Grunt can send X to the mat. X nails an X-cution and locks in the figure X. Grunt screams and looks ready to tap, when Phenom sprints down the isle.
MM: Phenom is here! What the Hell?
PEZ: Hell is a naughty word. I hope your mommy washes your mouth out with soap.
Kevin leaps on the apron, screaming and tries to divert the referees attention to Phenom, but the referee just tries to get Kevin off the apron as Phenom pulls X off of Grunt and nails the Phenomenal. X is out cold as Chad makes his way to the ring with his cattleprod! Chad rolls into the ring and shocks Phenom. Phenom is dazed as The Compton Crew and Method run down! The Crew climb in and get shocked. Chad goes to shock Method, but Method grabs the cattleprod and pulls it from Chad’s grip. Method looks ready to shock Chad, but Twist and Scally make their way down to the ring! Twist pulls the Cattleprod away from Method and shocks him! Method goes down, as the Crew stagger back up. The two stables start brawling outside the ring as X regains his senses. He picks up Grunt and nails a modified silencer. He hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!
Winner via pinfall: X
TITLE- European
Torch vs Chad (c)
MM: Someone get some security out here…wait here comes Torch and Rezerection!
PEZ: Holy Banana split Batman!
Rezerection charge down and start pounding away at the Hoodlums and the Haven. Chad and Torch roll into the ring. The two lock up as the three stables brawl off backstage. Chad opens up with a knee to the face of Torch, to which Torch responds with a stiff right to the gut of Chad. Chad bends over and Torch nails a massive powerbomb.
MM: What a Powerbomb!
PEZ: That’s nothing. In my day, we had real powerbombs. They broke people in two, literally!
Torch goes for an early cover... 1... 2... Chad kicks out. Torch pulls Chad up and hits Chad with a Dangerous DDT and locks in an armbar. Chad is in pain as Torch releases the hold. Torch starts stomping away at Chad, but Chad grabs Torches leg and bites down hard. Torch howls in pain as Chad staggers back up and delivers a few chops to the chest followed by a whip to the corner. Chad puts Torch in the Tree of Woe position and delivers a few knees and a stiff kick to Torches midsection. Torch drops to the mat where Chad delivers a few stomps. Chad pulls Torch up by the hair, but gets a low blow from Torch. Torch delivers a double underhook suplex to Chad. Chad clutches his back as Torch gets a legdrop on Chad. Chad crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up. Torch comes at Chad with a clothesline, but Chad ducks and delivers a clothesline of his own which sends Torch down. Chad starts climbing the turnbuckle.
MM: What’s he doing?
PEZ: Its quite simple really, he’s using gravitational pull and the power of his legs to propel himself from the turnbuckle onto Torch.
MM: Shut Up Pez.
Chad leaps off and nails a flying elbow drop on Torch. Torch is in la la land as Chad nails the Chadbuster and hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!
YOUR WINNER VIA PINFALL AND STILL T.F.W.F EUROPEAN CHAMPION: CHAD
Chad stands victorious on the turnbuckle holding a loft the European title on the fallen Torch when out of nowhere, Chopper runs down to the ring!
MM: Chopper!
PEZ: My long lost friend!
Chopper grabs Chad off the turnbuckle and nails him with a powerbomb, Chopper grabs the European title and lofts it high, but Grunt and Phenom appear on the scene. Grunt grabs Chopper in a choke slam and nails it, Phenom is about to leave the ring, but stops he sets up Torch, Chopper and Chad all for 'phenomenals'. U2's Its a Beautiful Day plays as Phenom and Grunt exchange a high five looking over the bodies off the broken 3.
(END OF SHOW)